Arms Length

My very first attempt at creating music using Suno with lyrics that I wrote. I was inspired by all of the lovely art and writing appearing all over X about Malfoid and tried my hand at capturing how she might feel just before everything around her falls apart. This is the point right before she steps willingly into the abyss because she won't accept being saved, even by the boy she wishes would. Before she releases Death Eaters on a school full of children, before she confronts Dumbledore and watches her Godfather take on the burden of killing him because she was too weak to do it. Before returning to what she knows is a Hell of her own choosing at the side of Voldemort. And the only redemption is something she can't fathom, can't imagine. That this boy she sings about is going to fight to save her. To save everyone. Despite everything, he's going to decide she's worth saving. The lyrics are below. Keep on yearning. -- Title: Arms Length I laugh a little louder When you walk in the room I lift my chin, I roll my eyes I give you no more room You’re easy sport, my favorite joke I wear you like a crown I’d rather burn than ever say You get under my skin somehow I keep you at arms length That’s where you belong Close enough to tease you Too far to get it wrong I’m not the kind who softens I’m not the kind who stays So don’t look at me like that — I’ll look the other way I still talk sharp in corridors I still pretend I’m bored But something in my chest goes quiet Every time you’re near I catch myself mid-insult And hate the way it lands I practiced being cruel to you Till my hands wouldn’t (I) Keep you at arms length Where I’m supposed to stand They raised me not to want you Not to understand But my heart keeps reaching Past every rule I know If wanting you is weakness — I’m weaker than I show I’m the girl they polished silver Meant to hold the line You’re the boy who ends the story They wrote for blood like mine Their pride sits heavy on my shoulders Their voice still fills my head And every time I choose you quiet I betray the life they bred I don’t know if I’m singing To you or just to me Either way the truth still hurts And won’t let me be I cross the line they drew for us I cross it every night Then morning comes and I put on The girl who gets it right I don’t want to keep you distant I don’t want to play this game I want the war inside my chest To finally say your name — Not out loud, not where they hear Just somewhere soft and true I’ve spent so long denying you I’m tired of loving through I kept you at arms length Though I wanted you near The princess with a cause to keep The boy they taught me to fear If they ask who owns this heart I’ll never speak it clear… But in this quiet room alone I’ve loved you for years