#014 Christian By Day. Muslim By Night. w/Shay Valli

What do you do when the faith you were raised in runs on fear, and the God you meet later runs on love? Shay Valli grew up Christian by day and Muslim by night. The Lord's Prayer every morning at his small-town Ontario school, Ramadan fasting at home that felt like torture to a nine year old. A Christmas tree in the living room until age 13, when it disappeared, and the anger moved in. His father taught in a Catholic school by day and raised his family Islamically by night. When Shay fell in love with a Catholic girl, his dad told him he was disowned. On his wedding day, his father stood outside the church fighting a battle Shay could not understand. For 30 years Shay ran: restaurant kitchens, Banff, Mexico, a meat shop with his name on the label that his father refused to enter. He calls it what it was: paralyzed by shame, motivated by fear dressed up as holiness. Then one afternoon in a dark theater, watching Frozen with his kids, one song undid him. It was not just time to let the anger go. It was time to let it all go. The next day he called his wife and said, I'm getting baptized. In this conversation, Shay and Justin get into: The difference between a faith driven by fear and a faith driven by love, and how you can tell which one is running your life Why shame paralyzes some people and turns others into fighters, and what finally dissolves it The quiet power of a spouse who never pressures, only prays What it actually costs a Muslim to walk away, and why it is a loss of identity and family, not just belief How to reach someone you love without winning a debate: relationship, honesty about your own darkness, and a simple offer to pray Shay's word to anyone watching from inside Islam, and to anyone who thinks God is angry at them If you have ever felt like you had to earn your worth, this episode will read like your own story with different details. Change what you believe, and you change what is possible. Subscribe to Help Me See for a new story of possibility every episode:    / @helpmeseepossibility   Follow Justin on Instagram:   / jdriedger   Want to ask Shay a question about faith, Islam, or starting over? DM Justin and he will connect you. Listen on the go: Spotify and Apple Podcasts, search Help Me See with Justin Driedger. CHAPTERS 00:00 "Run with the devil, now walks with the Lord" 01:39 Change what you believe, change what's possible 03:56 A small town that had never met a Muslim family 04:41 Christian by day, Muslim by night 06:30 Why can't I have a hot dog? 09:38 The Christmas that got taken away 11:40 Christmas at one house, Diwali at another, Eid at ours 15:45 "It shouldn't be a problem" 16:53 "You're not my son" 19:47 The meat shop his father wouldn't walk into 20:56 High-functioning shame 25:06 The Frozen scene that ended 30 years of strife 27:41 Gone. Just gone. 28:23 How God moved the pieces 31:32 The first time he felt the presence of Jesus 36:22 From the back row to the front of the room 40:00 How to talk to a Muslim friend without debating 46:47 Shame and fear dressed up as holiness 49:50 If you grew up in Islam, hear this 51:53 What's next 55:51 Bonus: before the cameras rolled