How To Handle a Growing Child's Emotion | Psychologist Explains

How to handle your child's tantrums without shouting: stay calm, set a boundary by saying what YOU will do, then validate the feeling. Bachche ka meltdown, log judge kar rahe hain, aur aap chilla dete ho, phir guilt. Sound familiar? In part 1 of the PanLab parenting series, psychologist Akansha explains why nobody ever teaches us how to manage a child's big emotions, or our own. Hum sochte hain ki bachcha paida hua toh parenting apne aap aa jaayegi. It doesn't. But there are research-based tools and protocols that do work. First, co-regulation. A child in a meltdown is in a state of dysregulation. They don't know what to do with the sensations in their body. They come back to a regulated state through you: the calmest, safest, most reliable adult in their life. When they see that you are not panicking, not getting angry at their anger, that calm gets absorbed. Repetition is the key, and slowly they learn to regulate themselves. Then, the two jobs of a parent, drawing on Dr. Becky Kennedy, Gabor Mate and developmental science: 1. Boundaries. A boundary is what you tell your child you will do, and it requires nothing from them. 'Switch off the TV' is a request, and they can refuse it. 'If the TV is not off in one hour, I will switch it off and keep the remote' is a boundary. The child should not be the one in control of the house. You are the pilot, the sturdy leader. 2. Empathy and validation. After the boundary comes the tantrum: crying, 'I hate you, you are the worst mother'. Don't give in and don't shout back, because that becomes a ping-pong match of negative energy. Instead: 'I know you are upset. I get why this is frustrating. And the rule still stands.' The intensity disperses, and the child learns frustration tolerance. That gap between wanting and getting, full of disappointment and rejection, is exactly where resilience is built. By the end you will know what to say in a meltdown, how to set a rule your child actually follows, and why gentle does not mean permissive. For more practical psychology and neuroscience in Hinglish, subscribe to the PanLab podcast. ⏱️ Timestamps: 0:00 The moment every parent loses it 1:02 Nobody teaches you this 2:07 What this video covers 2:38 Dysregulation and co-regulation 3:18 Stay calm during a meltdown 4:47 Your calm gets absorbed 5:49 The science: two jobs of a parent 6:27 Job 1: Boundaries 7:48 What a boundary actually is 8:57 The TV example 10:10 Tolerating the tantrum 11:14 Job 2: Empathy and validation 12:14 What to say in the moment 13:39 Building frustration tolerance 14:19 The learning gap builds resilience 15:32 Don't play ping-pong with anger 16:04 House rules need empathy 16:38 Outro #parenting #tantrums #positiveparenting #psychology #mentalhealth Music by Bensound.com/royalty-free-music License code: NRYTVQTJAONHXER6 Artist: : Theatre Of Delays