If Your Dog Ever Sleeps With Its Back To You... DO NOT ROLL OVER

If your dog ever sleeps with its back to you: do not roll over. Do not push it away. And do not ask what it sees. There are 7 rules. Most people break the third. The seventh is about the other side of the bed. This is an analog horror survival guide for anyone whose dog sleeps on the bed: the back pressed against you, the face toward the door, the growl at 1 in the morning, the dip in the mattress at 2, the voice at 3:12, and the dent in the other pillow. File 003. Issued by the Office of Household Irregularities. Please follow all instructions. The subject was first documented in File 002: If Your Dog Ever Hides Your Car Keys... DO NOT LEAVE. CHAPTERS 0:00 If your dog ever sleeps with its back to you 0:15 Back to back 0:44 Rule 1: Do not roll over 1:15 Rule 2: Do not push it off the bed 1:46 Rule 3: Do not say its name 2:21 Case file 003 2:56 Rule 4: If the mattress moves, do not look 3:30 Rule 5: Do not answer the voice 4:12 Rule 6: In the morning, feed it first 4:43 Rule 7: [classified] ABOUT THESE FILES Wayne Ketterman publishes survival protocols for situations nobody trained you for: dark, calm, and slightly unprofessional. Every video is one file, one situation, and a short list of rules. Subscribe, then do not roll over. This is a work of fiction. The Office of Household Irregularities does not exist. A dog sleeping with its back to you as a sign of trust, the 23 times a dog wakes up in a night, the Mayo Clinic tracker study and how much higher a dog can hear are real; the rest is ours. Please keep the other side of the bed made. SOURCES Adams, G.J. & Johnson, K.G. (1993). Sleep-wake cycles and other night-time behaviours of the domestic dog. Applied Animal Behaviour Science (23 sleep-wake episodes in 8 hours) Patel, S.I. et al. (2017). The effect of dogs on human sleep in the home sleep environment. Mayo Clinic Proceedings (40 adults, 7 nights; ~83 % vs ~80 % sleep efficiency) Hearing range of dogs (~45,000 Hz) and people (~20,000 Hz) - Wikipedia, Hearing range #analoghorror #dog #horrorstories