The Paperwork That Can Spare a Family More Painwith Stephanie Wood

What happens when someone you love is dying—and how can a little preparation make an already difficult time less uncertain? In this episode, I’m joined by Stephanie Wood, an award-winning Australian long-form feature journalist who writes for The Good Weekend, The Guardian and Vogue. Stephanie is the author of Fake: A Startling True Story of Love in a World of Liars, Cheats, Narcissists, Fantasists, and Phonies, which was adapted into a Paramount+ drama series. She also writes Vamp, a weekly Substack newsletter exploring midlife, resilience, meaning-making and ageism. Stephanie shares the story of her father’s final days after years of illness, and the experience of supporting him through palliative care. Her father had an advance care directive that set out his wishes, including that he did not want further treatment. Stephanie reflects on how having those wishes documented meant the family could focus on whether he was comfortable, rather than having to work out what he would have wanted. We talk about the emotional reality of being beside someone who is dying, the importance of compassionate and patient palliative care, and how family disagreements can add another layer of distress. Stephanie also opens up about the years she spent clearing the family home after her father died—and the memories, stories and complicated feelings attached to the things we inherit. The conversation also turns to who will support us as we age. Stephanie explains why she is considering engaging a death doula if she becomes unwell, challenging the assumption that having children guarantees someone will be there to advocate for us. Together, we explore why planning ahead is about more than paperwork: it’s about making our wishes known and reducing uncertainty for the people who may one day speak on our behalf. What you’ll hear in this episode: How an advance care directive helped Stephanie’s family understand her father’s wishes Why having a directive is not enough if healthcare professionals cannot access it The emotional reality of sitting with someone during their final days The difference compassionate, patient nurses can make to families How disagreements between relatives can make an already difficult time harder Why a death doula or other support person may be valuable when family support is limited The practical and emotional work of clearing a family home after a death Why it helps to document care wishes and powers of attorney before a crisis Connect with Stephanie Website: stephaniewood.com.au Vamp newsletter: Vamp by Stephanie Wood on Substack The Guardian article: Twelve days nursing my father in the dying room taught me the value of planning for death Resources and further information Advance care planning: Learn about advance care planning and advance care directives, including the rules that apply in your state or territory. Palliative care: Speak with your treating team or a palliative care service about support for the person who is ill and for their family. Critical Info: Take the free three-minute Critical Info Check to see what you already have covered and identify one next step. The link is included with this episode. If this episode brings up feelings of grief, loss or bereavement, you do not have to navigate them alone. The Critical Info Resource Hub includes links to grief and bereavement support organisations. Remember: You may not be ready to die, but at least you can be prepared. Take care, Catherine