Sausages and Attack Rolls | Funny Fantasy Tavern Song | D&D Bardcore Music | (Lyrics Video)

What starts as a simple midnight snack quickly becomes the worst culinary decision an adventurer can make. After surviving deadly dungeons, terrifying monsters, and near-certain doom, our heroes finally return to the safety of a bustling tavern. But when one hungry adventurer sneaks downstairs in search of a late-night bite, he discovers a horrifying truth: The pantry is a mimic. Whether you're gathering around the gaming table, enjoying fantasy music, or just wondering what happens when a cupboard develops teeth, pull up a chair and join the chaos. Warning: Do not attempt to retrieve snacks from suspiciously hungry furniture. --- Lyrics: [Intro] [Fast-plucked acoustic guitar and a lively fiddle build up a bouncing, comedic rhythm] [Shouted] One, two, three, four! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! [Verse 1] The dungeon was a nightmare, we survived by skin and bone The wizard lost his spellbook and the fighter lost his clone But we made it back to town alive, with gold coins in our sacks And rented out the tavern room to finally relax I woke up in the midnight hour, my stomach in a twist I stumbled down the creaking stairs to find a midnight snack I missed. [Chorus] But don’t open the pantry if the pantry has a tongue! Don’t grab the wheels of cheese before the morning bell has rung! I reached out for a sausage roll, but it reached back for me Now I’m boxing with a cupboard in the tavern scullery! (Hey! Hey! Roll for initiative!) [Verse 2] The bread box sprouted razor teeth, the flour bag began to growl The ladle tried to bite my nose, the broom was on the prowl! I threw a jar of pickles but it caught it in its maw The most aggressive piece of kitchenware I ever saw! I’m standing in my undergarments, swinging with a pan Trying not to get devoured by a frying pan! [Chorus] Oh, don’t open the pantry if the pantry has a tongue! Don’t grab the wheels of cheese before the morning bell has rung! I reached out for a sausage roll, but it reached back for me Now I’m boxing with a cupboard in the tavern scullery! [Bridge] [Music drops to a rhythmic handclap and a solo bassline] The party heard the racket and they ran down to the floor The barbarian was laughing as he leaned against the door The cleric started praying, but she couldn't stop her tears "That's the funniest damn mimic that I've seen in twenty years!" [Tempo speeds way up, fiddle kicks back in hard] [Verse 3] The wizard cast a fireball, which was a bad mistake He missed the cupboard completely and he burnt the wedding cake But the rogue sneaked up behind it with a heavy iron rake And pinned the wooden monster down before the house could break! [Chorus] So don’t open the pantry if the pantry has a tongue! Don’t grab the wheels of cheese before the morning bell has rung! I reached out for a sausage roll, but it reached back for me Now I’m boxing with a cupboard in the tavern scullery! [Outro] Next time I want a midnight snack, I’ll stick to rations! Stay out of the kitchen! Ow! My foot! ------------ 🎚️ Audio Mix: DaVinci Resolve 🎨 Visuals: Vizzy + Midjourney Ai + ChatGPT 🎶 Music: Suno Ai 📜 Concept & Lyrics: The FireBorn Legacy 🏷️ HASHTAGS #rpgmusic #dndmusic #dnd #dungeonsanddragons #funny #fantasy #roleplaying #adventure #dnd5e #FantasyMusic #TavernSong #FantasyBard #FantasyComedy #DnDMusic #FantasyFolk #BardSong #MedievalMusic #SongsOfTheFireborn #FantasyStorytelling #EpicFantasy #DungeonsAndDragons #FantasyWorldbuilding #FantasyAdventure #TTRPGMusic #fantasysongs #seashanty