“Why Are They Doing This?” to “What Are They Telling Me?”: Understanding Behavior & Communication

In this episode of Parenthood Unscripted, I’m joined by Brighid Gavin, a parent coach, board-certified behavior analyst, licensed behavior analyst, and special education professional with more than 20 years of experience working with children and families. Brighid supports children with autism, ADHD, intellectual disabilities, and other developmental and behavioral challenges, while also bringing her perspective as a mom of three. Together, we have an honest conversation about behavior, what it may be communicating, and how we can support our children without feeling like we have to “fix” them. We talk about parenting through challenging moments, balancing validation with boundaries, and recognizing that even professionals don’t have all the answers when it comes to their own kids. Brighid shares practical strategies parents can use at home, including offering choices, holding consistent boundaries, using reinforcement, and intentionally noticing the behaviors we want to see more of. We also talk about communication, shame, developmentally appropriate behavior, and knowing when it may be time to seek additional support. Most of all, this episode is a reminder that challenging behavior does not make you a bad parent. Parenting is not linear, and sometimes the best thing we can do is give ourselves, and our kids, a little grace while we figure out what works. In this episode, we discuss: • Understanding behavior and what it may be communicating • Balancing validation, boundaries, and consequences • Why children push boundaries • Helping children understand the “why” behind a boundary • Reducing shame during challenging moments • Communication and its connection to behavior • Developmentally appropriate behavior vs. when to seek support • Supporting children with and without a diagnosis • Practical strategies like choices, visuals, and reinforcement • The difference between reinforcement and bribery • The power of noticing and praising the good • Breaking generational parenting patterns • Giving ourselves grace when things don’t go as planned Connect with Brighid Gavin: 🌐 Website: https://childhoodbehaviorsolutions.com/ 📸 Instagram: @childhoodbehaviorsolutions 📞 Brighid also offers a free 15-minute phone call to see if her services are a good fit. A takeaway I hope you leave this episode with: Your child’s behavior is not a reflection of your parenting, and a hard day does not mean you’re doing it wrong. You don’t have to be a perfect parent or have every strategy figured out. Sometimes, we just need to pause, look at what our child is communicating, hold the boundary we need to hold, and remind them that we’re on the same team. Look for the good. Give yourself grace. And remember: tomorrow is a new day. 🤍 If you enjoyed this episode, please follow Parenthood Unscripted, leave a rating or review, and share it with another parent who might need the reminder that they are not alone in the hard moments.