PAIN I AM TRYING TO LET GO

This song is about my brother that i lost in 2019. One day i will see him again. @lowkar . All rights reserved. Lyrics by William Judi. Suno made it possible. My Suno profile suno.com/@sednar I was seven when I learned how to be a man Seven when I learned how to hold a house in my hands Seven when I learned that crying was a luxury That a boy like me could never afford to feel I was a son, I was a brother, I was a father to my brothers Before I even knew what the world was made of I was a role model, I was a protector, I was a wall For a family that was already starting to fall And I didn't complain, I didn't ask why I just grew up in a house where the children don't cry And I carried it all, and I carried it well And I buried the boy that I was in a shell And nobody knew, and nobody saw The seven-year-old who grew up too raw And I told myself this is just what a man does I told myself this is just what a brother was But there was one There was one Who made it worth the weight There was one There was one And I loved him more than life More than life HE WAS MY EVERYTHING He was my son before I had one HE WAS MY EVERYTHING And now my everything is gone HE WAS MY EVERYTHING And I don't know how to breathe HE WAS MY EVERYTHING And I'm still here, and he's not here with me Thirty-one years old when the phone rang in the night Thirty-one years old when they told me and I died And I don't remember falling, I don't remember sound I just remember the floor and the way the world went down I remember his laugh, I remember his voice I remember every single time I had a choice To hold him closer, to say the thing I never said And now I'm saying it to a photograph instead And I try to live, I try to smile, I try to be okay And every morning I get up and I put the pain away But it's there, it's always there, it's crushing, it's loud And I'm screaming on the inside where nobody's allowed And the tears are always there, they're always in my eyes And I hide them from the world because the world don't wanna see me cry And I'm counting every day, I'm counting every hour Waiting for the moment when I see him on the other side And he came to me He came to me To show me he's alright He came to me He came to me And I still can't say goodbye HE WAS MY EVERYTHING He was my son before I had one HE WAS MY EVERYTHING And now my everything is gone HE WAS MY EVERYTHING And I don't know how to breathe HE WAS MY EVERYTHING And I'm still here, and he's not here with me He came to me in the quiet He came to me in the dark He came to me to tell me That he made it, that he's home He came to me to hold me Without hands, without a voice He came to me to tell me Brother, I'm okay, you don't have to hold this And I said I miss you, I miss you, I miss you And I said I love you, I love you, I love you And I said I don't know how to live without you And he said you don't have to, I'm right here I'm right here I'm right here I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THIS I MISS YOU I MISS YOU COME BACK COME BACK COME BACK I don't talk about it Because when I do, it becomes real again And I've been holding it in for so long That I don't know what I'd do if I let it out But I love you I loved you more than life And I'll love you until the day I see you And I count the days I count the days HE WAS MY EVERYTHING And I'm trying to let him go HE WAS MY EVERYTHING But I don't want to let him go HE WAS MY EVERYTHING And I don't know how to breathe HE WAS MY EVERYTHING But I'll see him again I'LL SEE HIM AGAIN I'LL SEE HIM AGAIN I was seven years old When I stopped being a child But I had a brother Who made it worth being a man And I'll carry him Until I see him And I'll carry him Until I see him And I'll see him I'll see him