Day 27 (Road to 2000 Elo in Chesscom [Rapid]) - Mega Fall from Grace, dropped 100 elo in a day

This was recorded a couple days back, couldn't resist the urge to play and I ended up biting more than I could chew. Started off as a good session (climbed a bit further to 1714 elo, then came crashing down hard and ultimately ended up dropping 100+ elo on the way back down) Genuinely some of the most baffling phenomena I'll ever come across, I genuinely don't know how or why that happens. Maybe I'm just saying I don't know to cope when in truth I really do know why this happens... I guess today was an example of me playing with a sense of urgency to reach 1800 as soon as possible, and that ended up backfiring on me so quickly when I got fatigued in the middle, but I ended up coming back a bit closer towards the end. What's incredibly frustrating to me is that my performance feels relatively sporadic regardless of whether I prepare for it properly (sleeping on time and sleeping for at least 7 hours, eating enough, doing runs or aerobic exercises to stimulate BDNF so I can generate some good neuroplasticity, etc) alongside puzzles, or just priming my brain through puzzles alone. I feel that often, when I'm stimulated enough (either by doing games or doing puzzles), my performance is usually the same regardless of whether I prepared for it or not, which angers me because there's no clear definitive factor that will get me to seriously improve on my games. To make matters worse, in my case specifically, after spending 10+ hours playing chess, I somehow end up locking into this deep state beyond the point of fatigue and I end up winning a lot of games because the position feels so intuitive & fundamentally sound and I've played enough games to seriously prime my brain where I can just move automatically without thinking and really understand how the position works. That said, it's very hard to describe in words what exactly it is I'm experiencing, but I'm doing my best to showcase my thought process now while it's still fresh in my mind so I can reflect back on this later in retrospect & really understand why my main acted this way at this particular time. Thanks again for listening to my Ted Talk, see you in the next episode :))