What No One Tells You About Grief After Losing Your Mother

If you’ve ever wondered why grief from a mother's death doesn't follow the timeline the world expects, why it surges at 51 when you pass the age your mother died, why menopause brings a wave of loss that has nothing to do with hormones, or why you still don't know how to answer "I'm sorry" decades later, this episode is the one you've been waiting for. Tamsen Fadal lost her mother at 20. For nearly 30 years she didn't talk about it. Hope Edelman lost her mother at 17, couldn't find a single book written for young women who'd gone through the same thing, and eventually wrote it herself. That book, Motherless Daughters, has now reached millions of readers and sparked decades of retreats, support groups, and communities built around the specific kind of grief that never goes away. In this episode, you'll learn: Why your age at the time of loss is the most defining factor in how mother loss shapes you What "new old grief" is, and why it floods back the moment you become a mother yourself Why grief that looked like getting a tattoo, changing your friend group, or throwing yourself into work is still grief The difference between guilt and regret, and why so many daughters are carrying the wrong one What "crossing the silent threshold" means when you outlive your mother's age Why the five stages of grief were never designed for the people left behind How to rebuild a relationship with your mother's memory even decades after her death Why women in their 50s are showing up to grief retreats for the first time and feeling relief they haven't felt in 30 years What perceived vulnerability looks like, and why it drives behaviors people around you can't understand MORE FROM THE TAMSEN SHOW: If you liked this conversation, check this out: What I've Learned After 35 Years Without My Mom (https://bit.ly/tts-yt-mothersday-hope) __ If you want a say on our upcoming guests, fill out this form: https://bit.ly/tts-listener-survey STAY CONNECTED WITH TAMSEN: Get ⁠Tamsen's newsletter filled with free tools⁠ to living better, feeling stronger, and knowing you’re never alone: https://bit.ly/tts-youtube-newsletter Get Tamsen’s NYT instant bestselling book, How To Menopause: https://bit.ly/tts-youtube-book Free Resources from Tamsen: https://bit.ly/tts-youtube-hub Watch all the episodes on YouTube: https://bit.ly/tts-youtube-playlist Follow Tamsen on Instagram: https://bit.ly/tts-youtube-ig2 The Tamsen Show on Instagram: https://bit.ly/tts-youtube-ig1 Follow Tamsen on TikTok: https://bit.ly/tts-youtube-tt Follow Hope on Instagram:   / hope_edelman   Get Hope's book, Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss: https://www.amazon.com/Motherless-Dau... Learn more about Hope's retreats: https://www.hopeedelman.com/motherles... 🧡 LEAVE A REVIEW If you enjoyed listening to the podcast, we'd love for you to leave a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts to help others discover the show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... SPONSORS: Unlock your best hair & skin with @iRestorelaser and HUGE savings on iRESTORE with code TAMSEN at https://www.irestorelaser.com/TAMSEN! #irestorepod #ad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices TIMESTAMPS: 0:00 Intro 2:37 Why Losing Your Mom at a Young Age Shapes Your Entire Life 7:21 The Grief Myth That Makes So Many Women Feel Like They Failed 10:42 Why the Loss of a Mother Stays With You Forever 17:08 Why Motherless Daughters Instantly Understand Each Other 21:26 Becoming a Mother Without Your Own Mom 29:04 How Losing Your Mom Changes Your Relationships, Career, and Future 35:18 Why Motherless Daughters Become Fiercely Independent and How to Heal 42:42 The Emotional Impact of Becoming Older Than Your Mother Ever Was 45:07 Menopause Without Your Mom __ Medical Disclaimer: The information provided in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical concerns or treatment options. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of The Tamsen Show. __ ABOUT TAMSEN: Tamsen is a journalist, NYT best-selling author, podcast host, filmmaker and menopause advocate. As host of The Tamsen Show Podcast, she’s become a powerful voice in the conversation about midlife. She is the creator and producer of The (M) Factor and The (M) Factor 2, groundbreaking documentaries calling for change in how we approach women’s health. Tamsen is also the author of the New York Times Bestseller How To Menopause. From SXSW to Capitol Hill, Tamsen champions policies that break the stigma around menopause. After 30 years as a TV anchor, she now leads the charge in midlife health advocacy. https://www.tamsenfadal.com/ #grief #midlife #thetamsenshow