Stop Saying "You're So Smart" — Here's Why

You get the top score and someone says, "Wow, you're so smart." It feels amazing. But then a harder test comes along, and suddenly you're nervous. What if you're not the top this time? Praise is supposed to help us try harder, but some kinds of praise quietly do the opposite. The good news: you don't need to stop praising people. You just need to change what you praise. In this video: • The classic study where one sentence of praise made kids do worse (and even lie about their scores) • Why one extra word, "incredibly," can backfire • Why "You did a good job drawing" works better than "You're a good drawer" • The true story of a classroom where students were seated by intelligence scores, and the girl near the top who grew up to change how we think about praise • Six science-backed tools to give praise that helps people grow, including yourself • A 7-day challenge to start today Follow Leo as he learns why calling his little sister a "genius" made her quit the hard songs, and what helped her play the whole piece at her recital. Lead yourself first. 🗓 7-DAY CHALLENGE Every time you want to say "You're so smart" or "You're so talented," stop and describe one thing the person actually did. Catch your inner voice when it says "I'm so stupid" or "I'm a genius," and replace it with what you did and what you'll try next. And once this week, praise someone for how they handled a mistake. Comment below: What's the best praise you've ever received, and what did it say about what you did? ⏱ CHAPTERS 0:00 When praise backfires 1:37 Now, rewind: seated by intelligence 2:43 Why praise can backfire 3:09 The fifth-grade praise study 3:37 Question: how did the "smart" kids do? 4:52 Six tools: 1. Praise the process, not the person 5:31 2. Describe what they did 6:02 3. Don't overdo it 6:35 4. Don't praise by comparing 7:01 5. Don't turn praise into payment 7:34 6. Praise yourself the same way 7:58 Who was the girl? 8:39 Leo and Nora 9:20 Your toolkit + 7-day challenge