Breaking the Cycle: Building a Kingdom Legacy You Didn't Inherit (with Tony J. Reese)

Send us Fan Mail (https://www.buzzsprout.com/2616411/fa...) How do bi-vocational leaders break generational cycles while protecting their marriage and family? Pastor Arthur J. James sits down with Tony J. Reese, former megachurch men's pastor, multi-site campus pastor, entrepreneur, author, and marriage coach, for a transparent conversation about turning pain into purpose, restoring a marriage, and building a kingdom legacy at home, in ministry, and in the marketplace.  Season 1, Episode 6: Breaking the Cycle: Building a Kingdom Legacy You Didn't Inherit Last episode, we said time management is a theology. This episode, we take that conviction home. Pastor Arthur J. James welcomes Tony J. Reese, serial entrepreneur, greatness coach, author, and former men's, marriage and family, and campus pastor, for one of the most transparent conversations of the season. Tony lost his father at age three and watched his mother struggle with alcohol. Divorce ran through both his family and his wife Odessa's family. He shares how he searched for safe places, first in the church and then in Odessa, how he faced his own battle with alcohol, and how men's groups, recovery, and prayer restored his marriage. Today, Tony and Odessa have been married 24 years, are raising five children, and are building the legacy neither of them inherited. Along the way, Tony gives practical tools for marriage rhythms, men's ministry on a small budget, and handling money across two worlds. In This Episode • [00:00] Welcome and introducing Tony J. Reese • [01:24] Why Tony leads with entrepreneurship, not his pastoral title • [02:43] Called to ministry at 16 and thrust into leadership • [06:03] How Tony's pain became tied to his purpose • [09:39] Searching for safe places and finding Odessa • [15:13] Choosing presence over a high-paying travel job • [17:54] The family formula: intentional spacing, extended family, and community • [19:57] Alcohol, a layoff, and the lowest point • [24:27] Men's safe places, recovery, and breaking a generational pattern of divorce • [26:49] Marriage for Real and the Prayers for My Wife and Prayers for My Husband journals • [28:31] Going full time in ministry and what he did not expect • [35:52] Getting men engaged: Table Talks and keeping it HOT • [38:28] Men's ministry on a small budget: the 12 by 12 model • [40:35] A painful transition and a new assignment in Delaware • [47:50] The F5 Growth System: faith, fitness, family, finance, and friends • [49:43] Business lessons for ministry: multiple streams and separate accounts • [55:24] When your business is part of your ministry • [57:54] Hump Day Help: find your definite purpose • [59:30] Honoring your wife: the weekly, monthly, quarterly, and yearly rhythm • [01:01:47] Raising kids who celebrate ministry instead of resenting it • [01:05:01] Become a visioneer: first steps toward legacy • [01:07:54] Where to find Tony and final thoughts Key Takeaways • You can build a legacy you didn't inherit. Generational patterns are real, but they are not final. • Your purpose is often tied to your pain. What you have walked through can become what you help others walk through. • Leaders need safe places too. Men's groups, recovery ministries, and honest friends carried Tony through his lowest season. • Presence is a priority. Tony changed jobs after his young son asked why he kept leaving. • Build a marriage rhythm: a weekly date night, a monthly weekend away, a quarterly outing with other couples, and an annual extended trip. • Involve your children in the ministry so they experience it, not just hear about it. Give your family a shared mission and core values. • Men engage when ministry is HOT: honest, open, and transparent. One-on-one Table Talks and a 12 by 12 discipleship model work on any budget. • Keep ministry and business finances separate, and build more than one stream of income (Ecclesiastes 11:6). • Start legacy by becoming a visioneer: a vision for your life, then your marriage, then your family. Hump Day Help Find your definite purpose. Unplug from social media, get out in nature, fast, and ask God what your kingdom assignment is for this season. Once you know your purpose and vision, many decisions are already made. About Our Guest Tony J. Reese is a believer, husband, father, serial entrepreneur, greatness coach, author, speaker, and pastor. He served eight years as a men's, marriage and family, and stewardship pastor at a large churc...