Episode 8 - Burnout The I'll Do It Trap

Some of us are always the one who says "I'll do it." This is the second episode of our burnout series, and we're looking at the self-sacrifice lens: the belief that other people's needs come before your own. In this episode: Three roots of the self-sacrifice pattern — the responsible child, the good and undemanding child, and the parent you watched put herself last Why being caring isn't the problem, and what actually is The five core emotional needs, and what each looks like at work rather than in childhood Guilt, worry and the resentment that has nowhere to go How submit, opt out and storm in each lead to burnout by a different route Why storming in is the hardest version to recognise in yourself Why you don't only have one coping style, and how they run in sequence The same pattern at home, and the working parent's perfect storm Why, after years of this, you stop knowing what you actually want Then the practical part. Three things to try: pause before you agree, tolerate the guilt without rushing to fix it, and run a resentment audit. Plus RESET applied to self-sacrifice, and practising something most self-sacrificers never do — accepting help. We also draw an important line. Some of this is your own guilt to work on. Some of it is a system that's treating you badly, and that needs addressing properly rather than coped with. Next time: the defectiveness lens. Then unrelenting standards.