When I Hide My Panic

New Verse Sometimes I'm having panic attacks But I don't tell you when they start I keep it hidden in my silence While I'm falling apart My chest gets tight, my thoughts race And everything feels way too loud But I tell myself, “Just hide it” And I don't say it out loud I don't always know how to tell you When my head is getting too much Sometimes I go quiet Because I'm scared of being a burden But I know that hiding everything Won't help me heal inside So I'm trying to learn to tell you Instead of keeping it all inside [Pre-Chorus – Building] If I'm panicking, I'll try to say “I need a minute, I'm not okay” I don't have to explain everything I can just tell you what I need I don't want silence to become another lie I want to let you see what's happening inside [Chorus] I'm gonna put my heart into us More than words, more than promises I'm gonna show you every day That I'm learning a different way No more hiding, no more lies No more pretending that I'm fine If I'm scared, I'll tell the truth And let you know what I'm going through One honest day at a time One better choice, one changed mind I know trust won't come overnight But I'm willing to keep making things right I'm gonna put my heart into us And show you how much this means to me [Middle / Quiet Emotional Section] Sometimes I might go silent And you might think I don't care But sometimes I'm fighting something That I don't know how to share My mind can start racing And my body starts to shake I can feel the panic rising And I don't know what to say So if you see me shutting down Please know I'm trying to cope I'm not trying to push you away I'm just trying to find some hope And I'm learning I can tell you— “I'm having a panic attack.” “I need a little time.” “Please don't rush me.” “I'll talk when I can.” I don't want to hide behind silence I don't want fear to make my choices I want to learn how to communicate Even when I'm struggling to find the words Because getting better doesn't mean I'll never panic again It means I'll learn what to do When the panic begins [Heavy Breakdown] NO MORE HIDING WHAT I'M FEELING! NO MORE SAYING I'M OKAY! WHEN MY MIND IS OVERWHELMING ME— I'LL FIND A WAY TO SAY! I'M SCARED! I'M STRUGGLING! I NEED A MINUTE TO BREATHE! I DON'T HAVE TO HIDE IT! I DON'T HAVE TO LIE! I CAN TELL YOU WHAT I NEED! I'm not promising perfection! I'm promising I'll keep trying! When the panic starts to take me I won't disappear into the silence! [Final Chorus – Bigger] I'm gonna put my heart into us More than words, more than promises I'm gonna show you every day That I'm learning a different way No more hiding, no more lies No more pretending I'm alright If I'm scared, I'll tell the truth I'll let you know what I'm going through One honest day at a time One better choice, one changed mind And if it takes a thousand days I'll keep walking through the pain I'm gonna put my heart into us And give this everything I can [Outro – Soft] And if I'm quiet, I'll try to say What's really happening inside I don't want to hide my panic I don't want to run and hide I'm learning to speak I'm learning to trust I'm learning that honesty Means telling you when I'm struggling too I don't need to be perfect... I just need to keep trying. One honest day at a time.