Five was the Number | Pam

Pam Snook already had triplet sons and two adopted daughters when a phone call from a woman she'd barely met — a virtual stranger who'd been told Pam was "next on the kinship list" — pulled her into the hardest case of her fostering journey. Within days, Pam and her husband said yes to a baby girl in an emergency shelter with no training and no medical history, welcoming into holidays, ballet recitals, and dental appointments a man caseworkers were adamant was her father — for six months, until a simple paternity test revealed he wasn't biologically related to her at all. What followed broke Pam's heart in ways she's still working through in counseling: a little girl moved through a string of losses the system could have prevented, and a grief Pam now calls "ambiguous loss" — loving someone you no longer have any way to reach. It's a raw, honest conversation about kinship care, broken promises, and what it means to hand a child you can't protect anymore into God's hands. 0:00 Meet Pam — Homeschool Mom, Air Force Wife, Five Kids and Counting 1:23 A Normal Day in the Snook Household 2:38 Her First Exposure to Foster Care: "Almost Like a Charity Case" 3:17 Landing at a Church Full of Foster Families 4:15 Realizing Foster Families Just Need Practical Help 5:37 What Shocked Her About the System's Chaos 6:48 The Going-Away Party for a Placement That Never Left 7:14 Vivian: Embryo Adopted in 2021 8:14 Couldn't Sell the House — Until They Met Their Next Daughter's Birth Mom 9:26 Adopting Lucy Right Before Thanksgiving 11:14 Choosing an Open Relationship With Lucy's Birth Family 12:09 "We're Done at Five" — But God Wasn't 13:31 The Call From a Woman She'd Never Met 14:10 "How Did I Make the List? I Don't Even Know Her." 15:05 Days to Decide, or the Baby Moves Out of County 16:27 Buying Bunk Beds the Same Day 17:54 Signing Paperwork With No Training and No Medical History 19:12 The Father Allowed Full Access From Day One 20:31 The Boundary Pam Set Before Saying Yes 21:35 The Caseworker Was Adamant: Reunification Was Coming 22:13 Halloween, Thanksgiving, Ballet, Dental Visits — Treating Him Like Family 23:37 The Paternity Test Came Back After Christmas — "Why Wasn't That Step One?" 24:14 The New Caseworker: "You're It. Tonight." 25:29 He'd Decorated Her Room — Six Months of Promises, Cut Off in a Single Call 27:03 Pam Starts Advocating for a Permanent Home 27:57 "Like It Was an Amazon Package" — Moved With No Transition 29:35 Transferring Her Herself, to Soften the Trauma 30:22 The New Placement Didn't Work Out — Pam Is Still Grieving 31:11 Naming Every Layer of Trauma the System Added 33:26 The Season of Questioning Her Faith 34:48 "God, I Can't Carry This Anymore — You Have To" 35:55 A Pile of Letters, and What "Ambiguous Loss" Really Means 37:12 Her Fix: Minimal Visitation Until Parentage Is Confirmed 38:15 "Take the Paternity Test Immediately" 40:09 What She'd Write in a Letter to Her: "You Are Chosen" Thanks for watching! Follow South Texas Alliance for Orphans: 📲 Instagram:   / southtxalliance4orphans   📘 Facebook:   / southtexasalliancefororphans   🎙️ Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5OW7Jlc... 🌐 Learn more about fostering & adoption: https://www.southtxalliance4orphans.org If today's story moved you — share it with someone who needs to hear it. And if you've ever thought about fostering, even just once, let that thought be the start of something. 🤍 — Running Toward Podcast is brought to you by the South Texas Alliance for Orphans — real stories from real families walking the road ahead of you. Be sure to like, subscribe! We'll see you next week. 🤍