When Your Ex Turns People Against You: Triangulation, Flying Monkeys & Smear Campaigns

Have you ever discovered that people were talking about you, taking sides, or believing a version of your story that you never got the chance to tell? If you’ve ever found yourself wondering, “How did I suddenly become the bad guy?”—this episode of Okay, So Here’s the Deal is for you. Welcome to Narcissism 101: Lesson 7, where Marilee Grace breaks down two powerful manipulation tactics: triangulation and smear campaigns, along with the role of “flying monkeys” who may become involved along the way. Triangulation is a divide-and-conquer tactic that brings a third person into a conflict to create division, stir up jealousy, spread gossip, force people to take sides, or help the manipulator maintain control. Then there’s the smear campaign—the deliberate use of rumors, lies, half-truths, and distorted information to damage your reputation and influence how other people see you. And sometimes, other people get pulled into the story to do the manipulator’s dirty work. These people are commonly referred to as flying monkeys.