Why Kids Act Out for Attention—and What to Do Instead (Video 8 of 27)

Kids need our attention—and if they aren't getting enough of it in positive ways, they may figure out some surprisingly effective ways to get it. In this Parenting 101 video, child psychologists Dr. Erin Avirett and Dr. Jordana Mortimer explain The Attention Exchange: how parents can intentionally meet a child's need for attention through small, positive interactions—and respond differently when negative behavior is being used to get attention. The good news? This does not mean adding hours of special activities to your already busy day. We'll talk about three practical ways to build positive attention into everyday life: ❤️ Individual Time — Spend a few minutes one-on-one, without siblings, actively engaging in something your child chooses. 🏡 Family Time — Create simple moments of connection as a family. Think dance parties, pillow fights, games in the car, or anything your family genuinely enjoys together. 💬 Active Communication — Have conversations that aren't about instructions or correcting behavior. Listen to what your child tells you, remember it, and bring it up again later. We'll also explain planned ignoring—when and how to reduce the attention given to certain attention-seeking behaviors while still acknowledging your child's feelings and immediately reconnecting when appropriate behavior returns. The goal isn't to ignore your child. It's to make positive behavior the most effective way to get your attention. 🌿 YOUR ACTION STEPS Spend five uninterrupted minutes with your child doing an activity of their choosing. Have one intentional conversation with your child in which your only job is to listen and connect. Small moments count. You don't have to completely rearrange your day to make your child feel seen. ABOUT MIND & CHILD Dr. Erin Avirett and Dr. Jordana Mortimer are child psychologists and moms who created Mind & Child to give parents practical, research-backed strategies they can actually use in real life. #ParentingTips #ChildBehavior #PositiveParenting Chapters: 00:00 Attention is a basic human need 00:55 The role of one-on-one time 01:40 Quality over quantity 02:00 How to play (when it doesn't come naturally to you) 02:45 "Rules" to quality time 03:35 The role of family time 03:50 The importance of active communication 04:45 But...HOW!? We don't have the time for this 06:30 Start in the morning 07:30 Use the opportunity of car time together 08:15 Family meals...multi-functional 08:45 Avoiding attention in the wrong moments