I OT | Downtempo

🎵 "I OT" - Poetry I woke up and checked my phone before my eyes could focus Thumb moving like it belongs to someone else There's a version of me that lives inside this rectangle And I think she's doing better than myself She's smiling in places I've never been happy She's dancing in clothes I don't remember buying She's got opinions I don't recognize as mine And I'm starting to wonder who's been living my life I said good morning to a grid of faces None of them looked up None of them looked up I'm not living, I'm just scrolling I'm not feeling, I'm just posting I'm not here, I'm just a ghost in the machine I'm not breathing, I'm just scrolling I'm not breaking, I'm just coping I don't know what any of this means But I can't look away I can't look away I used to know what my own silence sounded like Before I filled every gap with noise I used to sit in a room with nothing but my thoughts Now I reach for the phone like a little boy Reaches for a hand that isn't there Reaches for a warmth he can't describe I am thirty-three years old and I am terrified That I've forgotten how to be alive I said good morning to a grid of faces None of them looked up None of them looked up I'm not living, I'm just scrolling I'm not feeling, I'm just posting I'm not here, I'm just a ghost in the machine I'm not breathing, I'm just scrolling I'm not breaking, I'm just coping I don't know what any of this means But I can't look away I can't look away If I screamed right now Would anyone look up from their hands Long enough to see me Not the version on the screen Just the woman in the room Who hasn't spoken in three days Who forgot her mother's voice Who can't remember what she wanted Before she wanted to be seen I'm not living, I'm just scrolling I'm not feeling, I'm just posting I'm not here, I'm just a ghost in the machine I'm not breathing, I'm just scrolling I'm not breaking, I'm just coping I don't know what any of this means But I can't look away I can't look away I'm not here... I'm not here... . Written by: joshuaisaacm . #music #downtempo #electronica #bedroompop #ambient #ambientpop #lofi #lofimusic #digitaldetox #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #phoneaddiction #socialmediaanxiety #loneliness #socialmediaaddiction