Stranger With A Knife

There’s a small, quiet knocking behind my left ear Not a sound you can see, but a shape you can hear I stand very still so the shadows don't tilt Carefully balance the blame and the guilt One wrong move and the head will split And I’ll fall through the floor where the memories sit Who put those footprints inside of my mind? I turn around fast, but there’s no one behind It smiles wide, it pretends, it's the monster who resides It wants me to abide, it calls it a guide Stop wearing my face! Stop pulling me aside! Stop replying with my voice like it's for you to decide! I'm not your bride so I deny and I deny till it finally dies But death is just a mask it provided and applied Is this what you wanted? Is this what you need? Is there an end to all of this greed It keeps consuming everything I feed Every drop that I bleed so I'd never succeed And if you can read this, I'm already gone I've been freed And there's nothing left for you to see Nothing left for me to feel It told me I’m whole but I only see the hole A gaping wound from what's left of my soul I'm a stranger to my own life A stranger with a knife Carving slices in different sizes Chopped to bites the way it likes And when it takes another, it doesn't even bother To ask if I ever suffer To ask what I needed To ask why I look defeated To ask why I retreated The moment it became And I took the blame and I wear this shame All that so I can ask what's my name I closed my eyes but I stayed awake Watching to see which fragment would break It’s not in the dark, it has me in sight It's been standing in front of me through the night Unravel the thread, pull the pin from the lock The pendulum’s swinging, but where is the clock It's me in the mirror, it's not me at all It's not me at all! It's not me at all! Fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall Fall! Fall! Fall! Fall! Fall! ...I think we're alone now I think I know you now You know when I wake, you know when I sleep You follow the thoughts that I bury too deep I cut off the words before they can speak But you finish every sentence for me I tried to forget, but you remember instead I tried to escape, but you live in my head And there's nothing left for you to steal You are already me You told me I’m whole but I only see the hole A gaping wound from what's left of my soul I'm a stranger to my own life A stranger with a knife Carving slices in different sizes Chopped to bites the way you like And when you take another, you don't even bother To ask if I ever suffer To ask what I needed To ask why I look defeated To ask why I retreated The moment you became And I took the blame and we're one and the same So ask me what's my name