The Psychology of People Who Go Silent When They’re Hurt.

Why do some people go completely silent when they’re hurt? This video explains the psychology of stonewalling, emotional suppression and avoidant attachment, with research you can check. Chapters 0:00 The silence nobody understands 0:52 What “hurt” really is 2:10 Three kinds of silence 3:30 Inside Gottman’s Love Lab 5:50 What hiding emotions does to the body 7:20 The babies who didn’t cry 8:50 What to do about it Research and sources • Leary, Springer, Negel, Ansell & Evans (1998). The causes, phenomenology, and consequences of hurt feelings. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. • Eisenberger, Lieberman & Williams (2003). Does rejection hurt? An fMRI study of social exclusion. Science. • Williams (2007). Ostracism. Annual Review of Psychology. • Gottman (1994). What Predicts Divorce? Lawrence Erlbaum. Gottman & Silver (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. • Christensen & Heavey (1990). Gender and social structure in the demand/withdraw pattern of marital conflict. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. • Schrodt, Witt & Shimkowski (2014). A meta-analytical review of the demand/withdraw pattern of interaction. Communication Monographs. • Gross & Levenson (1993). Emotional suppression: Physiology, self-report, and expressive behavior. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. • Gross & John (2003). Individual differences in two emotion regulation processes. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. • Wegner, Schneider, Carter & White (1987). Paradoxical effects of thought suppression. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. • Butler, Egloff, Wilhelm, Smith, Erickson & Gross (2003). The social consequences of expressive suppression. Emotion. • Chapman, Fiscella, Kawachi, Duberstein & Muennig (2013). Emotion suppression and mortality risk over a 12-year follow-up. Journal of Psychosomatic Research. • Ainsworth, Blehar, Waters & Wall (1978). Patterns of Attachment. Lawrence Erlbaum. • Spangler & Grossmann (1993). Biobehavioral organization in securely and insecurely attached infants. Child Development. • Mickelson, Kessler & Shaver (1997). Adult attachment in a nationally representative sample. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. • Fraley & Shaver (1997). Adult attachment and the suppression of unwanted thoughts. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. • Mikulincer & Shaver (2007). Attachment in Adulthood. Guilford Press. • Lieberman et al. (2007). Putting feelings into words. Psychological Science. • Pennebaker & Beall (1986). Confronting a traumatic event: Toward an understanding of inhibition and disease. Journal of Abnormal Psychology. This video is for education only and is not a substitute for professional mental health or relationship advice. #psychology #humanbehavior #emotionalintelligence #stonewalling #attachmentstyle #avoidantattachment #relationshippsychology #mentalhealthawareness #psychologyfacts #gottman #selfawareness #whyweact