"Bloody Hell, Mate!" | My Best Mate's Lost the Plot

Bloody hell, mate, what have you done? "My Best Mate's Lost the Plot" is the next chapter in the Harry & Malfoid story, and this time Ron Weasley is telling it. Six years of dragons, chess boards and hand-knitted jumpers... and his best mate goes and kisses the enemy. Now Ron has to pass her the gravy, say good morning through gritted teeth, and admit that maybe, just maybe, Harry hasn't laughed like this in a year. Nah. Still can't stand her. (Unless she brings snacks.) Malfoid = a female Draco Malfoy (genderswap AU). More from the series: Pure Blood, Bad Influence (Lucius) Pure Blood, Bad Attitude Ten Points From Everyone (Snape) Pure Blood, Bleeding Heart Chosen Boy, Frozen Hands The Black Sheep Approves (Sirius) Beautiful Disaster Chapters 0:00 I'm completely, totally fine 0:18 Six long years I've had your back 0:42 I nearly lost my lunch 0:55 Bloody hell, mate 1:18 She sits down at our table 1:43 The ferret 1:50 Jealous? Me? 2:02 Bloody hell (again) 2:26 I've seen you laughing proper 2:55 Nah, still can't stand her 2:58 Fine, you win 3:11 My best mate's lost the plot 3:29 Unless she brings snacks Lyrics Right now, it's fine, I'm completely, totally fine. He's not fine! Six long years I've had your back, mate, through the dragons and the dark Took a beating on a chess board just so you could make your mark I've shared my mum's best jumpers and I've shared my last sweet treat Now you're cuddling the snob who laughed at the shoes upon my feet Saw you in the corridor, I nearly lost my lunch And I never lose my lunch! She straightened out your collar and I nearly threw a punch! Bloody hell, mate, what have you done? You went and kissed the enemy, the slimy silver one Six years of hexing in the hall, now it's darling, now it's dear Somebody fetch a bucket, cause I'm gonna be sick right here Bloody hell, bloody hell My best mate's lost the plot Of every girl in the whole castle You pick the one I'd rather not She sits down at our table like she paid for every chair Still calls me the poor one while she's fiddling with your hair She sneers at all my hand-me-downs, she sneers at what I eat Now I'm passing her the gravy while she's smirking in my seat I watched her bounce once as a ferret, best day of my whole life Now I gotta be polite cause she might end up your wife The clever one keeps sayin' that I'm jealous, what a joke Jealous? Me? I'd rather hug a spider than be nice to her, no joke Bloody hell, mate, what have you done? You went and kissed the enemy, the slimy silver one Six years of hexing in the hall, now it's darling, now it's dear Somebody fetch a bucket, cause I'm gonna be sick right here Bloody hell, bloody hell My best mate's lost the plot, of every girl in the whole castle You picked the one I'd rather not But I've seen you laughing proper, like you haven't in a year Like the weight you're always carrying gets lighter when she's near And she stood up to her father when he spat my family's name So maybe, just maybe, she's not quite the same Nah, still can't stand her Bloody hell, mate, fine, you win I'll say good morning to her through a slightly gritted grin But if she ever breaks your heart I swear on every freckle that I've got I'll send the twins and trust me, that's worse than any curse her lot have got Bloody hell, bloody hell My best mate's lost the plot Of every girl in the whole castle You pick the one I'd rather... Not! And she's not sitting with us at the match Unless she brings snacks Song made with Suno, art made with Anima, edited in Remotion. Fan work: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. No copyright infringement intended. #HarryPotter #RonWeasley #Drarry #FemDraco #HarryPotterSong