The Shape you Made

THE SHAPE YOU MADE You got a picture in your head of the person I should be Every time I step outside it, you keep dragging me beneath Every word becomes a verdict, every silence means I'm guilty You don't listen to my answers, you just wait to contradict me I learned to read the room before I ever learned myself Keep a dozen different versions of my feelings on the shelf Say I'm fine, play along, keep the peace, don't react Funny how you want the truth until it doesn't fit the facts You keep telling me I'm changing Like you ever knew the truth You keep holding up a mirror With somebody else's view I tried to be what you expected Till I couldn't recognize my face Now every time I reach to find me I feel you pulling me away I'M NOT THE PERSON YOU BELIEVE IN I'M NOT THE WORDS YOU PUT IN MY MOUTH YOU KEEP REBUILDING ME IN YOUR IMAGE THEN WONDER WHY I CAN'T GET OUT I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING TO UNDERSTAND ME YOU TURNED IT INTO SOMETHING I COULDN'T BE IF THIS IS WHO YOU SAY I AM THEN WHO THE HELL IS LEFT OF ME? You want honesty? Fine, but you hate when it's directed at you You want loyalty, but only when it serves your point of view You want someone who agrees, never questions, never bends Someone easy to define, easy to break, easy to defend And I played that part for years, made excuses for the pressure Cutting pieces off myself so you'd accept the whole together Every boundary was a problem, every difference was a flaw You weren't trying to understand me, you were trying to write the law Now I'm second-guessing thoughts that I was certain of before Standing in an empty room, still rehearsing what you're looking for And the worst part isn't even that you never saw me clear It's that somewhere in the process, I started seeing you in here I tried to be what you expected Till I couldn't recognize my face Now every time I reach to find me I feel you pulling me away I'M NOT THE PERSON YOU BELIEVE IN I'M NOT THE WORDS YOU PUT IN MY MOUTH YOU KEEP REBUILDING ME IN YOUR IMAGE THEN WONDER WHY I CAN'T GET OUT I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING TO UNDERSTAND ME YOU TURNED IT INTO SOMETHING I COULDN'T BE IF THIS IS WHO YOU SAY I AM THEN WHO THE HELL IS LEFT OF ME? Maybe I let you name me Maybe I let you decide Maybe I wore your expectations Till they swallowed me alive But I can hear my own voice Underneath the things you said And it's getting harder to silence And it's getting out of my head— I DON'T NEED YOU TO DEFINE ME! I DON'T NEED YOU TO AGREE! YOU CAN KEEP THE FALSE REFLECTION! IT WAS NEVER REALLY ME! I'M NOT THE PERSON YOU BELIEVE IN I'M NOT THE WORDS YOU PUT IN MY MOUTH YOU SPENT SO LONG TRYING TO RECREATE ME YOU NEVER SAW WHO I WAS NOW I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING TO UNDERSTAND ME BUT I WON'T DISAPPEAR TO MAKE YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN KEEP THE PERSON YOU INVENTED— THAT PERSON WAS NEVER ME! I remember who I was Before I saw me through your eyes.