How Menopause Changes Your Relationship (And How to Stay Connected)

How does perimenopause affect relationships, marriage, sex, and intimacy—and how can you support your partner through it? Drs. John and Julie Gottman discuss what couples need to know about perimenopause and menopause, from hot flashes, disrupted sleep, irritability, and mood changes to changes in libido, body image, and painful sex. More importantly, they explain how partners can navigate these changes together. In this conversation, John and Julie Gottman discuss: • How perimenopause and menopause can affect relationships • What partners should understand about hot flashes and sleep disruption • Changes in libido, sexual desire, and painful sex • How to respond when your partner says “no” to sex without taking it personally • Maintaining intimacy when sex changes • Supporting a partner through mood changes and depression • Listening with empathy instead of immediately trying to fix the problem • Why open-ended questions like “What’s that like for you?” matter • Practical ways to make menopause symptoms easier at home • Reassuring your partner when body image changes • Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and symptom management • Planning for intimacy • How patience, communication, and small acts of care can strengthen your relationship during menopause Perimenopause and menopause can create real physical and emotional changes, but couples don’t have to navigate them alone. Understanding what your partner is experiencing—and responding with curiosity, empathy, affection, and practical support—can make an enormous difference. Subscribe to The Gottman Institute for research-based relationship advice from Drs. John and Julie Gottman on marriage, intimacy, communication, conflict, sex, and lasting love. #Menopause #Perimenopause #Relationships #MarriageAdvice #GottmanInstitute Timestamps 00:00 Menopause Support Intro 00:39 Perimenopause Symptoms 04:35 Sex Changes And Pain 07:29 Listen And Empathize 09:06 Energy Bones And Safety 10:15 Practical Help And Fans 13:30 Intimacy Options And Estrogen 16:53 ED Logistics And Timing 19:37 Workload And Home Support 21:47 When It Ends And Surprises 23:20 Reassurance And Old Triggers 26:36 Cuddling And Heat 27:38 Wrap Up And Questions The Gottman Institute Our Mission Is to Foster and Sustain Greater Love and Health in Relationships We recognize the challenges facing families today and believe that everyone deserves compassion. Our mission is to foster and sustain greater love and health in relationships. To achieve this, we actively reach out to families, offering support and resources designed to enhance relationship dynamics. We commit to ongoing, rigorous research programs that deepen our understanding of relationships and contribute to well-evaluated intervention strategies. Our goal is to ensure that our services are accessible to everyone, regardless of race, religion, socioeconomic status, culture, sexual orientation, or ethnicity. We are also committed to the care and support of our Institute team, as we know that compassion must begin with ourselves. *Disclaimer:* The content on this channel is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. Watching these videos does not establish a therapist-client relationship. If you're in crisis, seek help from a licensed professional or emergency services.