WAKE UP | Season 10, Episode 9THE IMPASSE: WHY BLACK MEN AND WOMEN CAN’T SEEM TO GET TOGETHER

For decades, Black men and Black women were more likely to marry than white Americans. Then something changed. Today, far fewer Black adults are married, and among younger generations the divide between men and women can feel deeper than ever. Pasted text So what happened? Why do so many Black men say they cannot find a woman they want to marry? Why do so many Black women say they cannot find a man worth marrying? Why are both sides frustrated? And why does every conversation eventually turn into blaming the other side? In this episode of WAKE UP, Bishop Vincent Mathews and Akili Mathews step directly into the impasse. This is not a men versus women episode. It is a conversation about what happened to all of us. We look at marriage statistics, education, economics, family structure, cultural expectations, dating standards, divorce, fatherlessness, the struggles facing Black boys, and the messages both men and women have absorbed about relationships. The numbers show a significant shift. In 1970, approximately 36% of Black men and 28% of Black women had never married. By 2020, those numbers had risen to approximately 51% of Black men and 48% of Black women. Pasted text That is not a small cultural adjustment. Something happened. We talk about the education gap. Black women have made extraordinary educational gains. But that success can create another challenge when marriage expectations require a man to have equal or greater educational credentials. At the same time, we challenge the idea that a college degree is the only measure of a man's stability or potential. Electricians. Plumbers. Contractors. Entrepreneurs. Tradesmen. A man can be highly skilled, productive, financially stable, and ready to lead a family without a bachelor's degree. Pasted text We talk about unrealistic expectations. Some men are looking for a woman who will work, cook, clean, raise the children, submit to everything they want, and ask nothing of them. Some women are looking for a man who will pay every bill, earn six figures, be over six feet tall, look a certain way, provide a particular lifestyle, and still meet every emotional and domestic expectation. At some point, we stopped looking for partners and started shopping for finished products. Pasted text Everybody wants somebody already built. But marriage has never worked that way. Sometimes you meet somebody with character, vision, discipline, faith, and potential, and you build together. We talk about the wounds we bring into relationships. Some men distrust women because of what they experienced with their mothers or previous relationships. Some women distrust men because of what they experienced with their fathers or previous relationships. Then somebody good comes along and gets punished for what somebody else did. That is why healing matters. You cannot make the next person pay the previous person's debt. Pasted text We also discuss: • How negative images of marriage influence young adults • The educational divide between Black men and women • The struggles facing Black boys and young men • Incarceration and the shortage of stable potential partners • Dating standards that eliminate almost everyone before the first conversation • The effects of divorce culture • Men's fear of marriage and financial loss • Women's frustration with emotionally unavailable or irresponsible men • Expectations around leadership, submission, money, sex, and responsibility • How parents can unintentionally shape their children's future relationships • Why social media has turned relationship frustration into a gender war And there is plenty of responsibility to go around. Like. Subscribe. Share. This is WAKE UP. #WakeUp #WakeUpPodcast #TheImpasse #BlackMarriage #BlackLove #BlackMen #BlackWomen #Marriage #Relationships #Dating #ChristianDating #ChristianMarriage #RelationshipAdvice #MarriageMatters #BlackFamilies #BlackFamily #DatingStandards #ModernDating #HealthyRelationships #MarriagePodcast #BishopVincentMathews #AkiliMathews