Linny Maria - I Learned To Stay Away

🔔 Subscribe for more dark songs born from personal experience: ‪‪‪‪@linnyxmaria‬ 📧 E-mail me for a healing song for your story or situation: linnymaria.youtube@gmail.com Lyrics: [Verse 1] I was always somewhere near the circle, Close enough to see, Close enough to hear the laughter, Never close enough to be. School hallways, birthday parties, Names I never heard called out. People making plans around me, Making sure I stayed without. [Pre-Chorus] So I watched them from the outside, Watched them laugh and watched them pair. They made belonging look so easy, Like there was something in the air. [Chorus] I learned to stay away Before they pushed me away. I learned to disappear Before they'd see me clear. Everybody found somebody, Like it came as natural as air. I never learned the secret To the way they seemed to care. So I built a world inside my head, Where nobody could say goodbye. I shut the door, I stayed inside, And learned to live my life alone. [Verse 2] At home, I wasn't really there, At school, I wasn't really known. Everywhere I went, I carried That same empty feeling home. I watched the groups form circles, Watched the invitations pass. I learned to smile like I was fine While feeling like the last. [Pre-Chorus] And yeah, I hated watching them, Their stupid jokes, their perfect plans. How they could walk into a room And know exactly where to stand. They never had to think about it, Never had to ask or care. They just belonged without explaining. I was always standing there. [Chorus] I learned to stay away Before they pushed me away. I learned to disappear Before they'd see me clear. Everybody found somebody, Like it came as natural as air. I never learned the secret To the way they seemed to care. So I built a world inside my head, Where nobody could say goodbye. I shut the door, I stayed inside, And learned to live my life alone. [Bridge] Maybe that's the part they never knew. I wanted people too. I wanted somewhere I could stay, Somewhere I wouldn't feel in the way. But wanting people started hurting. Trusting started feeling wrong. So I left before they left me, And called being alone strong. [Final Chorus] I learned to stay away Before they pushed me away. I learned to disappear Before they'd see me clear. I spent my whole life on the outside, Trying to learn the rules. Everybody spoke a language I was never taught in school. Everybody found somebody, Everybody had a place. I kept searching for the doorway, But could never find the space. So I built a world inside my head, Where nobody could make me cry. It kept me safe, it kept me numb, It kept me asking why. I shut the door, I stayed inside, And slowly made it home.