Jordan Sandman - Bottles N’ bad choices

Title: Bottles N’ Bad Choices I met you down in '19 when I was half a man, half whiskey, half nothin', with shakin' in my hands. You loved me through the bottles, through the blackout nights, said "boy, you ain't a bad man, you're just losin' the fight." I swore I'd get clean for you, I swore on your name, but I traded your mornin' coffee for that mornin' shame. Every "I'm sorry" I whispered through a busted lip, was another brick in the wall of a sinkin' ship. And you can't love a man who don't love himself, you can't save a man from that bottom shelf. You were prayin' for sober, I was prayin' for numb, you were hearin' wedding bells, I was hearin' drums. So I had to understand, not just let you go, feel what I did to your heart when I was low. I let go of an angel tryin' to hold me right, chose that brown glass bottle over your porch light. 'Cause healin' starts when the bottle finally breaks, when you see what you lost in all the mess you made. I can't undo a single damn thing I've done, I can't bring back the woman that I loved, son. Found your sweater in my truck last Tuesday night, still smells like you, still smells like our life. I was high on "one more time will be the last", now that last time is all I got of our past. I pawned your birthday ring for a gram and a lie, told myself you left 'cause you didn't even try. Truth is, you tried 'til your hands bled tryin', I was too busy dyin' to see you cryin'. countin' all the yesterdays where I did you wrong. Regret don't leave, it just learns to sit still, in that empty passenger seat where you used to be. So I had to understand, not just let you go, hold all that pain I left in your home. I let go of the only thing that kept me true, traded your forever for a night or two. And healin' comes slow on a backroad at dawn, when you realize that bottle's been the one stringin' you along. I can't undo a single damn thing I've done, and I can't call back the woman that I loved. Let what was be what was, let her be free, don't let that whiskey write who you're gonna be. You don't get free by forgettin' her face, you get free when you finally own your mistakes. So now I understand, I finally let it show, I feel every night I left you alone in the cold. Let my past be a warning, not the man that I am, I'm not that kid with the bottle in his hand. 'Cause every step away from that old bar neon, is a step towards the man you hoped I'd be, my dear. I can't undo a single damn thing I've done, but I'm still here choosin' who I'm becomin', love. Yeah, I'm still here choosin' who I'm becomin'. I can't bring you back... but I can bring me back.