The Girl in the Mirror - Veloria

The Girl I'm Still Learning to Love I am not perfect, never claimed to be, Yet sometimes I wish I could love the girl I see. There are parts of me I struggle to embrace, Little things I hide, the flaws I can't erase. I bite my nails when the world gets loud, When my thoughts grow heavy beneath the crowd. A nervous little habit I can't seem to break, A quiet reflection of the stress I take. My hair falls softly, strand by strand, And I fear what I don't quite understand. I've watched it thin; I've felt that pain before, When stress took pieces of me I couldn't ignore. There were days when my hair became a fight, When alopecia stole some of my light. And though the worst of those days may have passed, The fear of losing more still seems to last. My skin tells stories I don't always share, Stretch marks and scars that remind me they're there. Sometimes I look at them and wish they'd disappear, Wishing I could see myself without the doubt and fear. I know these marks are nothing to be ashamed of, Yet knowing that doesn't make self-acceptance easy enough. Because some days, the words I tell others to believe Are the very words my own heart cannot receive. I can be kind to strangers, gentle to a friend, Yet with myself, my patience seems to end. I find the flaws that no one else can see, And wonder why it's so hard to just let myself be. I wish I could look into the mirror and smile, Without picking myself apart for a little while. Without counting the things I wish I could change, Without feeling like my own body is something strange. I'm tired of pretending that I'm always okay, Of fighting with myself at the end of every day. I'm tired of being my own harshest critic, Of turning every little flaw into something specific. But perhaps I don't need to love it all tonight. Perhaps I can learn to treat myself right. Perhaps healing isn't waking up without insecurity, But making room for the girl who's still becoming me. I may have scars. I may have fears. I may have spent too long fighting back tears. I may not be the woman I imagined I'd be, But there is still a life unfolding inside of me. So, dear girl in the mirror, I won't promise you'll never cry. I won't tell you to love every part or ask you to pretend you're fine. I'll only ask you to stay a little kinder when you fall apart, To stop treating every imperfection like a failure of your heart. For you have lived through days you never speak about, Carried silent burdens, swallowed words, endured your doubts. And even when you struggle to see your own worth, You are still deserving of gentleness on this earth. I'm not perfect. I am still learning to see That I am more than the things I wish were different about me. And maybe one day, when I meet my own eyes in the mirror, I'll see less of what I fear And more of the woman who's been trying all these years. But until that day, I'll take it slow, There is so much about myself I am still learning to know. I don't have to love every part of me to start anew. I only have to stop believing That my flaws make me any less worthy Of loving me, too. 💜