Tale Of Grammarye - Richard Dalton Barham

Tale Of Grammarye - Richard Dalton Barham, (son of Thomas Ingoldsby), circa 1839 - Vol. 3 the original print. Recited from The Bentley Ballad's collection. Yet his Lordship sat still , digesting his ire , With his nose on his knees , and his knees in the fire , - All at once he jump'd up , resolved to consult his Cornelius Agrippa de rebus occultis . He seized by the handle A bed - room flat candle , And went to a secret nook , Where a chest lay hid With so massive a lid , His knees , as he raised it , shook , Partly , perhaps , from the wine he had drunk , Partly from fury , and partly from funk ; For never before had he ventured to look In his Great - Great - Grandfather's conjuring - book . Now Lord Ranulph Fitz - Hugh , As lords frequently do , Thought reading a bore , but his case is quite new ; So he quickly ran through A chapter or two , For without Satan's aid he knew not what to do , - When poking the fire , as the evening grew colder , He saw with alarm , As he raised up his arm , An odd - looking countenance over his shoulder . Firmest rock will sometimes quake , Trustiest blade will sometimes break , Sturdiest heart will sometimes fail , Proudest eye will sometimes quail ; - No wonder Fitz - Hugh felt uncommonly queer Upon suddenly seeing the Devil so near , Leaning over his chair , peeping into his ear . The stranger first The silence burst , And replied to the Baron's look : - " I would not intrude , But don't think me rude If I sniff at that musty old book . Charms were all very well Ere Reform came to Hell ; But now not an imp cares a fig for a spell . Still I see what you want , And am willing to grant The person and purse of the fair Isabel . Upon certain conditions the maiden is won ; - You may have her at once , if you choose to say ' Done ! ' " The lady so rare , Her manors so fair , Lord Baron , I give to thee : But when once the sun Five years has run , Lord Baron , thy soul's my fee ! " Oh ! where wert thou , ethereal Sprite ? Protecting Angel , where ? Sure never before had noble or knight Such need of thy guardian care ! No aid is nigh - ' twas so decreed ; - The recreant Baron at once agreed , And prepared with his blood to sign the deed . With the point of his sword His arm he scored , ; And mended his pen with his Misericorde ; From his black silk breeches The stranger reaches A lawyer's leathern case , Selects a paper , And snuffing the taper , The Baron these words mote trace : - " Five years after date , I promise to pay My soul to Old Nick , without let or delay , For value received . " - " There , my Lord , on my life , Put your name to the bill , and the lady's your wife . " * All look'd bright in earth and heaven , And far through the morning skies Had Sol his fiery coursers driven , - That is , it was striking half - past eleven As Isabel opened her eyes . All wondered what made the lady so late , For she came not down till noon , Though she usually rose at a quarter to eight , And went to bed equally soon . But her rest had been broken by troublesome dreams : - She had thought that , in spite of her cries and her screams , Old Nick had borne off , in a chariot of flame , The gallant young Howard of Effinghame . Her eye was so dim , and her cheek so chill , The family doctor declared she was ill , And muttered dark hints of a draught and a pill . All during breakfast to brood doth she seem O'er some secret woes or wrongs ; For she empties the salt - cellar into the cream , And stirs up her tea with the tongs . But scarce hath she finished her third round of toast , When a knocking is heard by all- " What may that be ? - ' tis too late for the post , - Too soon for a morning call . " After a moment of silence and dread , The court - yard rang With the joyful clang Of an armed warrior's tread . Now away and away with fears and alarms , - The lady lies clasped in young Effinghame's arms . She hangs on his neck , and she tells him true , How that troublesome creature , Lord Ranulph Fitz - Hugh , Hath vowed and hath sworn with a terrible curse , That , unless she will take him for better for worse , He will work her mickle rue ! " Now , lady love , dismiss thy fear , Should that grim old Baron presume to come here , We'll soon send him home with a flea in his ear ; - And , to cut short the strife , My love ! my life ! Let me send for a parson , and make you my wife ! " No banns did they need , no licence require , - They were married that day before dark : The Clergyman came , -a fat little friar , The doctor acted as Clerk . But the nuptial rites were hardly o'er , Scarce had they reached the vestry door , When a knight rushed headlong in ; From his shoes to his shirt He was all over dirt , From his toes to the tip of his chin ; But high on his travel - stained helmet tower'd The lion - crest of the noble Howard . By h ...