'haunted ship' 67% - awesomeme360

hey !! :) progress posting on here wont be a normal thing but this is kinda a slight announcement typa thing. i hope that i can look back on this and prove myself wrong but i dont think thatll happen bc opening or even thinking of this level gen fills me with despair i got this run yesterday,,,,, u would think after not getting a new best for ages id be happy w this even if its a moronic death . but . nope .i feel ass LMAO. im not sure how this'll age but with how this level has been treating me i severely doubt i can continue playing it. all my motivators to beat it are lowk gone. i was first playing it when it was unrated bc i wanted to get on the endscreen, which obviously didnt happen. then i wanted to atleast beat it before it got placed, which didnt happen. now i see people beat it in so little attempts and feel like its gonna get moved down. that shit is so demotivating it hurts my heart so bad bc im so passionate abt this game and wanna improve so bad. my dream has always been to be a top 100 player on pc or beat a top 10. beating a top 10 nowadays is impossible for me especially on a shitty laptop, so the only possible dream to achieve is becoming a top 100 player. however that genuinely just feels so fucking out of reach after playing this level because i feel so bad at the game it makes me so sad. and yea no exaggeration this level has made me feel like utter shit and ive never felt this defeated playing a video game in my life. i really felt like i couldve beaten this alot sooner esp because of how consistent i was from 30-36 and 11% in runs but oh well! its sm more fucked up that the level has treated me like this because it was my favorite level in the game until i got my fluke progress (65%) and then got hit with the mindblock of doom. ill see if i still feel like playing this soon. if u see "haunted ship 100%" then u will see that i clearly prevailed! otherwise, thats about it when it comes to my current experience! i dont even want to share my total attempts because it genuinely irks me and makes me feel trash at the game but do know that i have a lot. if i ever beat another list demon itll be under a new pc player since idk my old accounts username or password but its ok bc i only had legacy shit on there anyway