You Have More to Lose Now | Fatherhood in the Security Industry | Khalil Graham | The Shift Handover

What changes when the security officer working the door is no longer only thinking about getting through the shift, but about the children waiting for him at home? Khalil Graham returns to The Shift Handover for a second conversation with Dan Sharpe and Marc Smith, this time exploring a side of the security industry that isn’t discussed nearly enough: fatherhood. Working long 12-hour shifts, nights and weekends can mean Khalil sometimes goes days without properly seeing his children. He speaks honestly about trying to balance providing financially with being present for the moments his children will remember. For Khalil, that balance is deeply personal. Growing up with a hardworking father who was often away providing for the family, Khalil reflects on the memories he didn’t get to make, and why he’s determined for his own children to have a different experience. “My dad really spent a lot of time working, so I don’t really have a lot of memory with him. I don’t want my kids to be the same with me.” But becoming a father hasn’t only changed Khalil’s life at home. It’s changed the way he approaches security. Khalil, Dan and Marc discuss how parenthood changes your perception of risk, conflict management and personal safety when working on the doors or in hospital security. A black eye or difficult night might once have been something to laugh about with colleagues. Now there’s another thought: What will my children see when I get home? The conversation explores the risks security professionals face when customers discover personal information about them, why professional boundaries become even more important when you have a family, and the uncomfortable reality that someone removed from a venue today could potentially recognise you with your children tomorrow. They also discuss raising sons and daughters, social media and mobile phones, co-parenting after separation, protecting children without preventing them from experiencing life, and the responsibility parents have to support their children regardless of what happened between mum and dad. Khalil speaks openly about his relationship with his children’s mother and why he credits their communication and co-parenting relationship with helping him be the father he wants to be. The conversation also tackles parental responsibility, including fathers who find money for nights out and expensive bottles but fail to financially support their own children. Ultimately, this episode asks a question relevant to thousands of people working unsociable and potentially dangerous jobs: How do you provide for your family without missing the very family you’re working so hard to provide for? In this episode: • Fatherhood while working in security • 12-hour shifts, nights and family life • Providing financially vs being present • How children change your perception of danger • Conflict management after becoming a parent • Keeping your family information private at work • Security officers and professional boundaries • Raising sons and daughters • Social media and children’s safety • Co-parenting after separation • Financial responsibility as a parent • Work-life balance in the security industry • Why having children means having more to lose