Fifty Shades Of Jay (Stay Here PT. 2)

[INTRO — WHISPERED] You walked in slow… Like you already knew my name. One look from you, And nothing in me stayed the same. I should’ve warned you about me, About the things I hide. Some hearts run from danger— I keep mine locked inside. [VERSE 1] You walked into my world, And I let you see my smile. But underneath that smile, I’ve been fighting all the while. I told you, “Approach me,” Knowing I could make you stay. I gave you all my warmth, Then pushed your heart away. I know I’m complicated. I know I’m hard to read. I give you everything I have, Then disappear when I bleed. You asked who I really am. I couldn’t find the words. There are so many sides of me That even I don’t understand. [PRE-CHORUS] I say, “Trust me,” While I’m afraid to fall. I give you pieces of my heart, Then build another wall. I don’t know If I’m saving you or pulling you under. I disappear into silence, Then return like thunder. [CHORUS] Fifty shades of Jay, You never know which one you’ll get. Fifty shades of Jay, The love, the scars, the regret. I’m the fire in your veins, I’m the shadow in your brain. I can make you feel like heaven, Then drown myself inside the rain. Fifty shades of Jay… Every color of my soul. Fifty shades of Jay… Every piece I can’t control. I pull you close, I push away, Then miss you when you’re gone. I’m still trying to understand myself, Still trying to carry on. [VERSE 2] Some days I’m strong enough To carry everybody’s pain. Some nights I’m barely holding on, Trying not to break again. Sometimes I want your arms around me. Sometimes I need to be alone. Sometimes I swear I’ll never leave, Then vanish like a ghost. I can be gentle. I can be cold. I can give you my heart, Then be terrified to hold. I know I’ve hurt you. I know I’ve made you cry. There’s so much I never say Because I’m scared you’ll see inside. [PRE-CHORUS] I say, “Trust me,” But I’m terrified too. Sometimes I don’t know What I’m going to do. I can be your shelter. I can become the storm. I can hold you like I need you, Then leave you all alone. Every time I walk away, I swear I’m finally done. But when the silence gets too loud, I wish you’d come back home. [CHORUS] Fifty shades of Jay, You never know which one you’ll get. Fifty shades of Jay, The love, the scars, the regret. I’m the fire in your veins, I’m the shadow in your brain. I can make you feel like heaven, Then drown myself inside the rain. Fifty shades of Jay… Every color of my soul. Fifty shades of Jay… Every piece I can’t control. I pull you close, I push away, Then miss you when you’re gone. I’m still trying to understand myself, Still trying to carry on. [BRIDGE — QUIET] I’m the man who loves too much. I’m the man who runs away. I’m the heart that wants forever And the fear that says, “Not today.” I’m the smile hiding sadness. I’m the laugh hiding pain. I’m the one who says, “I’m okay,” While drowning in the rain. I’m the fire. I’m the ashes. I’m the question with no answer. I’m the person I’ve been running from Every time I see the mirror. And maybe that’s the hardest part— I can’t escape myself. [BUILD-UP] I want to love you, But I don’t always know how. I want to hold you, But I’m still learning how. I want to tell you everything, But I’m scared you’ll walk away. What if you see all of me And don’t love Jay anymore? [BREAKDOWN — SCREAMED] NO! I’M NOT JUST ONE! I’M EVERY FUCKING PIECE! FIFTY! SHADES! OF JAY! THE LOVE! THE PAIN! THE HOPE! THE RAGE! THE LIGHT! THE DARK! THE HEART! THE SCARS! FIFTY! SHADES! OF JAY! I’M THE ONE WHO LOVES! I’M THE ONE WHO RUNS! I’M THE ONE WHO BREAKS AND PRETENDS I’M FUCKING FINE! I BREAK! I BURN! I FALL! I RETURN! I’M STILL HERE AFTER EVERYTHING I’VE BEEN THROUGH! FIFTY! SHADES! OF JAY! EVERY SCAR! EVERY FLAME! EVERY FUCKING PIECE CARRIES MY NAME! [POST-BREAKDOWN — SOFT] And I’m sorry… For every time I made you question my love. I’m sorry for every wall I built between us. I’m still learning who I am. I’m still learning how to stay. Maybe I don’t need to be perfect. Maybe I just need to be honest. Maybe love isn’t about Finding only one side of me… Maybe it’s accepting All of me. [FINAL CHORUS — MASSIVE] Fifty shades of Jay, Now you finally know my name. Fifty shades of Jay, Every side of me carries pain. I’m the fire in your veins, I’m the shadow in your brain. I’m the heart that wants your love, And the soul afraid of change. Fifty shades of Jay… Every color of my soul. Fifty shades of Jay… Every piece I can’t control. I pull you close. I push away. I lose myself. I find my way. FIFTY SHADES OF JAY! THIS IS WHO I AM! FIFTY SHADES OF JAY! EVERY SCAR! EVERY FLAME! EVERY FUCKING PIECE CARRIES MY NAME! [OUTRO — WHISPERED] Maybe I’m your darkness… Maybe I’m your light. Maybe I’m still learning How to make things right. But if you ask me Who I really am… I’m Jay. Not perfect. Not whole. Just human. Fifty shades of Jay… And every single one… Is me.