"Cocaine brought me to my knees!" Addiction & Recovery. School of Rock Bottom 96: Paul Sculfor

Paul Sculfor is widely regarded as Britain's first male supermodel, but behind the fame, success and glamorous lifestyle, he spent years struggling with addiction. In this episode, Paul opens up about cocaine addiction, alcohol, anxiety, shame, denial and the moment he finally asked for help. Now more than 22 years sober, Paul shares what it took to rebuild his life, find lasting recovery and discover a very different definition of success. From the outside, Paul had the life many people dream of. He had a successful international modelling career, financial independence and opportunities most people could only imagine. Yet beneath the surface, he was battling feelings of insecurity, anxiety and low self-worth. Alcohol and drugs initially helped him feel accepted, but over time, his relationship with substances became increasingly destructive. Paul takes us back to the moment he realised he had spent the money he had worked so hard to earn, and how, despite promising himself he was finished with cocaine, he found himself using again just days later. He describes the frightening events that followed, the emotional and physical exhaustion that brought him to his knees, and the moment he finally asked for help. But addiction wasn't simply about drugs and alcohol. Paul reflects on the anxiety and self-consciousness he experienced growing up, his desire to fit in, and how a painful experience early in his modelling career affected his confidence and sense of safety. He explains how he tried to hide that pain behind outward success and the image of a man who had everything together. We also explore the reality of functioning addiction, and how someone can continue working, earning money and appearing successful while their life is becoming increasingly difficult behind closed doors. Paul explains how his priorities shifted as his modelling career developed, why he began to feel lost despite his achievements, and how success alone could never resolve what was happening internally. Paul speaks candidly about entering rehab, the shame he carried and the moment he seriously considered ending his life. He shares how a conversation with a friend helped him see another possibility, and how choosing to start again changed the direction of his life. He also explains how returning to acting helped him rebuild his confidence and learn to look people in the eye again. More than two decades into recovery, Paul discusses the role a 12-step programme has played in his life, why he continues to attend meetings, and why he sees recovery as an ongoing way of living rather than something you eventually complete. We explore the difference between destructive obsessive thinking and using that same intensity as a positive force, and how recovery can help us develop greater agency over our thoughts, reactions and behaviour. Today, Paul has channelled his experience into helping others affected by addiction through the Stride Foundation. He also hosts This Is Powerful, where he has honest conversations about mindset, mental health and recovery. Paul's story is a reminder that the life people see from the outside rarely tells the whole story, and that recovery can offer far more than simply putting down drugs and alcohol. It can give you the opportunity to build a life that feels meaningful from the inside, too. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Sponsor: The Recovery Cartel This episode is sponsored by The Recovery Cartel, a clothing brand celebrating recovery. Website: https://www.therecoverycartel.co.uk Support us - https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1 Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal Topics - 0:00 Trailer & Intro 4:00 A rock bottom moment 12:00 Anxiety, hyperactivity & low self esteem 16:30 Early drinking 19:00 Childhood & early career 24:30 Coke and alcohol at 11am 28:00 When did addiction start? 30:45 Early modelling career & anxiety 35:00 Coming out of denial 37:00 Mountain tops can be painful too 38:30 Not wanting to live 41:00 Being able to look the world in the eye 44:00 How Paul stays sober 50:45 Cross addiction? Follow Paul Instagram -   / paulsculfor     / this_ispowerful     / stride.foundation   Follow Oliver Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9 LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7 WATCH AND LISTEN YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/ykbxducc Spotify - https://tinyurl.com/ynkkdt4j Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 #PaulSculfor #AddictionRecovery #Sobriety