Why Men Fall Apart in the Middle of Divorce and Not at the Beginning

Most men think the worst part of a divorce is the beginning: the day she says it, or the day you move out. It's not. My guest today works with men every day, and she'll tell you men don't break at the start. They break in the middle. That's when the lawyers are done being interesting and it's just you, an empty apartment, and the sound of a kid's bath you're not giving anymore. Kimberly is a therapist and divorce coach who runs recovery groups for men. We talk about why women show up for support at the beginning and men don't show up until it's already hitting the fan, what the denial in those early months is protecting you from, why the small daily fathering (breakfast, the bath, bedtime) hits harder than the big losses, the fight that was never about the mango in the lunchbox, why men jump into the next relationship before they've healed, and the first thing to do when you're in the middle of it with no support. If the apartment's too quiet, or you're counting the days till you get your kids back, and you haven't said any of this out loud to anyone: you're not the only one. It's not even close. ——— Guest: Kimberly Lorah — Kimberly is a therapist and divorce coach who runs divorce support and recovery groups for men. She is the host of Discussions with a Divorce Coach. Find her at: https://kimberlylorahcoaching.com/    / @kimberlylorahblossomcoaching   ——— Host: Jeff Kolez — https://jeffkolez.com Author of After Divorce: How to Lose Everything and Still Win Get the free Curse Inventory, the first tool from the book: https://jeffkolez.com/divorce Work with me — for divorced fathers who want peace that doesn't depend on their ex: https://jeffkolez.com ——— Chapters 0:00 — Why men break in the middle, not the start 0:48 — She became a divorce coach the hard way 3:43 — Why men show up when it's already hitting the fan 6:06 — What denial is protecting him from 9:02 — Two ways men show up: broken or fists up 10:48 — The warning signs you're ignoring 12:22 — Grieving breakfast: the small losses that hit hardest 13:58 — The mango-lunchbox fight (it's never about the mango) 16:04 — What men fear before walking into the group 17:58 — Chasing the next relationship before you've healed 20:14 — The first thing to do when you're lost and alone 22:27 — One concrete tool for this week 26:09 — Not toxic positivity: what she's grateful for 27:27 — Where to find Kimberly + join her men's group 28:29 — Closing: you're not the only one #divorce #divorcedmen #fatherhood