Are You Behind in Life, or Behind a Highlight Reel?

Priya is 29. At 11:40 one night she learns that her college roommate got engaged, a guy from her first job bought a house and a girl from high school now runs a bakery in Lisbon, and she puts her phone down feeling late for a life she never scheduled. Here's where that feeling comes from, from Leon Festinger's 1954 theory of social comparison to the research on "highlight reels", why it's so loud right now, and why the race you think you're losing might not be a real race. Chapters 0:00 Priya's 11:40 p.m. scoreboard 0:54 Festinger's social comparison theory 1:32 You don't feel behind a billionaire 1:53 Upward vs. downward comparison 2:10 From your street to millions of strangers 2:31 Everyone else's highlight reels 3:21 What 48 experiments found 3:47 Screen time and potatoes 4:11 Why everyone seems more social 4:39 Misery has more company 5:21 A timeline from your grandparents' era 6:02 Compare with you from 2 years ago 6:20 The 10-minute experiment Sources (including the ones that found the effect is small) Festinger, 1954, "A Theory of Social Comparison Processes", Human Relations: https://doi.org/10.1177/0018726754007... Steers, Wickham & Acitelli, 2014, "Seeing Everyone Else's Highlight Reels: How Facebook Usage Is Linked to Depressive Symptoms", Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology: https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.2014.33.... McComb, Vanman & Tobin, 2023, "A Meta-Analysis of the Effects of Social Media Exposure to Upward Comparison Targets on Self-Evaluations and Emotions", Media Psychology: https://doi.org/10.1080/15213269.2023... Orben & Przybylski, 2019, "The association between adolescent well-being and digital technology use", Nature Human Behaviour: https://doi.org/10.1038/s41562-018-05... Oxford Internet Institute, 2019, "Technology use explains at most 0.4% of adolescent wellbeing, new study finds", University of Oxford: https://www.oii.ox.ac.uk/technology-u... Deri, Davidai & Gilovich, 2017, "Home Alone: Why People Believe Others' Social Lives Are Richer Than Their Own", Journal of Personality and Social Psychology: https://doi.org/10.1037/pspa0000105 Jordan et al., 2011, "Misery Has More Company Than People Think: Underestimating the Prevalence of Others' Negative Emotions", Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin: https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167210390822 Hunt et al., 2018, "No More FOMO: Limiting Social Media Decreases Loneliness and Depression", Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology: https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.2018.37.... National Center for Family & Marriage Research, Bowling Green State University, 2026, "The Timing of First Marriage: Age Trends and Characteristics", Family Profile FP-26-13: https://www.bgsu.edu/ncfmr/resources/... National Association of Realtors, 2025, "First-Time Home Buyer Share Falls to Historic Low of 21%, Median Age Rises to 40", press release: https://www.nar.realtor/newsroom/firs... Priya, her friends and the skits are made up; the studies and the marriage and home-buying figures are real. Doodle Psych is for education and curiosity, not professional advice. #socialcomparison #feelingbehind #psychology