Moretti or Poretti - Which Fake Lager is Best?

Which fake Italian lager is best, or are they both crap? I dunno, let's find out. My comedy books, UK links: A Yorkshire Christmas Carol: https://amzn.eu/d/0enwVmjW The Moron Survival Guide: https://amzn.eu/d/0eWS1o1d Lavender and Brown: https://amzn.eu/d/08twc7PT