How To Know What You Want as a Teacher (Even If You're a People Pleaser)

If you're a teacher and someone asked you right now what you actually want, could you answer? Most teachers can't. You can tell me exactly what your students need, what your admin needs, what your own kids need. Ask what you want, and it's silence. This is part 2 of a 3-part replay series pulled from the exact episodes that came out with my book two years ago, and they still hold up completely. We're covering the second step of the Inside-Out Teacher Framework: Choose. Once you've started observing your thoughts, feelings, and nervous system (that was part 1), this episode is about how to know what you actually want and use that to make real decisions, instead of letting everyone else's needs decide for you. Why Teachers Struggle to Know What They Want (And What to Do About It) If you're a people pleaser, this will probably sound familiar: you go looking for the answer to "what do I want" and come up blank, because you've spent years answering "what does everyone else need" instead. In this episode, you'll hear why that happens, why people pleasing shows up in almost every coaching conversation I have with teachers, and how to start figuring out what you actually want even when people pleasing has been your default for years. What You'll Learn in This Episode How to know what you actually want when people pleasing has made that question feel impossible to answer, the concept of "the manual" (the invisible rulebook we hold other people to, and hold ourselves to), why wanting love and belonging is the root of most people-pleasing habits, the difference between choosing consciously as a teacher versus running on autopilot, how to use your own senses and values to figure out what you want, why your brain fights to be right more than it wants you to be happy, and why goal-setting belongs in "Choose" and not "Align." Episode Timestamps 0:00 Why teachers rarely stop to ask what they want 0:58 Podcast intro 1:05 Welcome back, part 2 of the coaching framework series 1:50 Signed book copies giveaway 3:03 The three steps: observe, choose, align (this week: choose) 4:00 Why to watch on YouTube, and how to enter the giveaway 5:00 The October masterclass 5:36 Get on the Teacher Brain Break newsletter 6:06 Today's episode starts: revisiting the book launch 7:00 Quick recap of step one, Observe 9:03 Observing your feelings 9:41 Observing your nervous system 10:11 What's actually in your control 11:07 How the book is structured, and the staircase visual 12:26 Reading the book's "Choose Your Direction" section intro 13:03 The Notebook scene: "what do YOU want?" 14:11 Why "I don't know" is such a common answer 14:55 Love and belonging as the root of people pleasing 15:47 Why people pleasing shows up everywhere, not just teaching 16:47 The concept of "the manual" 18:00 Tapping into your senses to figure out what you love 19:07 What are your top values? 19:56 Why did you decide to teach in the first place? 20:11 Example: switching up her homeschool curriculum 20:57 Example: what a week in Maui taught her about choosing direction 22:11 Chapter 7: the power of conscious thinking 22:40 Why your brain would rather be right than happy 23:30 The intentional thought model, plus bridge and ladder thoughts 24:03 Chapter 8: goal setting 24:37 Why we set goals, even though the goal itself isn't what makes us happy 25:36 Using the self-coaching model to build a goal backwards 27:00 Why goal-setting belongs in "Choose" and not "Align" 27:56 Recap of the episode 29:16 Why the book gives clarity even to longtime club members 30:53 What's coming in part 3, Align Get the Teacher Brain Break newsletter: educateandrejuvenate.com/teacherbrainbreak Grab my book, Educate & Rejuvenate (as an Amazon affiliate, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you): https://amzn.to/4d4ZxIa Get the Educate & Rejuvenate app: educateandrejuvenate.com/app-access-directions/ Visit the website: educateandrejuvenate.com Ready to Go Deeper? If this episode resonated, part 3 picks up right where this one leaves off, covering how you actually follow through on what you choose instead of falling back into autopilot.