Spotlight Series | Aftab Erfan

In this episode, Belamie Peddle speaks with Aftab Erfan, who first encountered Lewis Deep Democracy around 20 years ago and went on to explore its application through her PhD research and her work in dialogue, leadership and large institutions. Aftab shares some of the most memorable “arguments” she has encountered over the years, from decisions within her own family to conversations about hope, humour, gender and deeply polarised social issues. Her stories show how working deliberately with opposing positions can bring more information into the room and help people move beyond the apparent simplicity of either/or thinking. She also reflects on one of the LDD questions she uses most frequently as a leader: “What do you need to come along?” For Aftab, the question creates room for people to retain some agency even when a wider decision has already been made. Alongside the tools themselves, she highlights the importance of meta-skills such as curiosity, non-judgement, openness and a willingness to let go of attachment to a particular outcome. The conversation moves into power, minority voices and what Aftab has learnt from working across different approaches to dialogue and conflict. She explores why inclusion does not always mean simply opening the floor to everyone at once, and why facilitators sometimes need to think carefully about whose voice needs space first. Ultimately, Aftab reflects on a lesson that applies at work and at home: sometimes the most significant shift does not come from changing the other person. It comes from discovering what can change in ourselves. 🔑 Key Takeaways • Working deliberately with opposing views can reveal information that is lost when we rush towards agreement. • “What do you need to come along?” can give people greater agency within decisions they may not fully agree with. • Structure can make difficult conversations feel less chaotic and more workable. • LDD practices can be integrated into everyday leadership rather than used only for major conflicts. • Meta-skills such as curiosity, non-judgement and openness may matter as much as the facilitation tools themselves. • Power and context influence whose voices are heard, and sometimes particular voices need intentional space. • The minority perspective is not always obvious or fixed. • Sometimes working with conflict changes us more than it changes the people around us. 🎧 Notable Moments “What do you need to come along?” “Is everything horrible?” “Whatever the minority is has some wisdom to offer.” “Sometimes it’s like, actually, it’s me who needs to change.” ⏱ Chapters 00:12 Aftab’s introduction and 20 years with LDD 02:04 Why Lewis Deep Democracy has stayed with her 03:06 Seven memorable arguments 09:08 Using an argument with yourself 10:35 Dialogue in polarised times 13:06 “What do you need to come along?” 14:19 Meta-skills, curiosity and non-judgement 15:51 Bringing LDD into everyday leadership 19:12 Power, minority voices and creating space 24:14 Who can benefit from Lewis Deep Democracy? 26:40 Using the work at home 29:01 When the person who changes is you 🔎 Topics & Keywords Lewis Deep Democracy, Aftab Erfan, Belamie Peddle, dialogue, facilitation, leadership, group dynamics, conflict, polarity, minority voices, power, inclusion, meta-skills, decision-making, argument, working with difference, resistance, difficult conversations, universities, organisational culture, family relationships, dialogue across difference Lewis Deep Democracy is a practical methodology for working with difference, resistance, tension and conflict. It helps people and groups surface what is unsaid, include voices and information that may not yet have been heard and move conversations forward. Find out more about Lewis Deep Democracy: https://www.lewisdeepdemocracy.com/