Why the Nicest Guy in the Room Is Chosen Last

He helps everyone, agrees with everyone, and still gets chosen last. Do people really prefer jerks? The research says no, and the real reason the nicest guy loses is something he hides behind the kindness. Chapters: 0:00 Intro 0:46 The jerk myth 1:53 Kindness needs a spine 2:46 The price at work 4:07 The cheap yes 5:31 The hidden man 6:30 The covert contract 8:13 Three small steps Sources: Urbaniak & Kilmann (2003). Physical attractiveness and the "nice guy paradox": Do nice guys really finish last? Sex Roles. Jensen-Campbell, Graziano & West (1995). Dominance, prosocial orientation, and female preferences: Do nice guys really finish last? JPSP. Judge, Livingston & Hurst (2012). Do nice guys — and gals — really finish last? The joint effects of sex and agreeableness on income. JPSP. Ames & Flynn (2007). What breaks a leader: The curvilinear relation between assertiveness and leadership. JPSP. Worchel, Lee & Adewole (1975). Effects of supply and demand on ratings of object value. JPSP. Vonk (1998). The slime effect: Suspicion and dislike of likeable behavior toward superiors. JPSP. Butler, Egloff, Wilhelm, Smith, Erickson & Gross (2003). The social consequences of expressive suppression. Emotion. Crocker & Park (2004). The costly pursuit of self-esteem. Psychological Bulletin. Eisenberger, Lieberman & Williams (2003). Does rejection hurt? An fMRI study of social exclusion. Science. Glover (2000). No More Mr. Nice Guy. Running Press (a self-help book, cited for the idea of the "covert contract"). Patrick & Hagtvedt (2012). "I don't" versus "I can't": When empowered refusal motivates goal-directed behavior. Journal of Consumer Research. How this video was made: script researched and written by us, every fact checked against the sources above; every scene is built and animated by us in code, as 3D chalk drawings inside a blackboard; the narration uses a synthetic voice. #psychology #selfimprovement #niceguy