uh oh

I came back to Zurich for my babies; paintings, sculptures, dvds and books. From Seoul to Zurich, it took a day. Literally a day, 24 hours. I went to Incheon airport with my dad and Mont Mont, my angel, the kindest dog. Since I was fifteen, my dad drives me whenever I go abroad. This time I saw his profile and realised he is getting old, though we're forever young. I claimed my luggage while hoping it won't weigh over 23.9 kg, but it was 24.6 kg. I was going to make it lighter, but the ground staff said "It's fine until 25 kg." How nice. I didn't know it because I usually take Air France. Then, time to say bye came. I tried not to show a single tear in front of my dad and not to express the fear from my awful imagination of receiving a call that he is dead. What would it be like to take a flight to go to his funeral? This fear has been with me for the last eight years. Actually it's still there. I waved my hands until I couldn't see him and Mont Mont. I cried a bit. While wiping, I went through security. I didn't have to pull out laptop nor camera, I guess the regulation changed. I was relieved because this time I had two, both Mac and Windows and a quite heavy camera. Oh là là. It's a nightmare to pull out all of them while making other people wait behind. Before the departure, I sent messages to my family and friends then fell asleep. May was an overwhelming month. I woke up for breakfast. There was a little bottle of water. I kept it for someone special. A few hours to transfer... I went through another security, looked for a seat near the gate, read Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner (a truly honest story) and tried to change some schedules in Seoul to stay in Zurich longer. Then another flight. I wrote, wrote, wrote and watched Marty Supreme by Joshua Safdie. I screamed at one moment so some people looked at me. Sorry to them, but the scene was intense. I was again inspired by a A24 film. Near my seat, there was a baby about four months old. They constantly cried. Even I, as an adult, was tired. I bet they were suffering. It was oddly wondrous to look at an almost new born baby when the final scene of Marty Supreme stayed alive in me. Then landing, I took a train to the city, walked from the station, carried the 24.6 kg luggage up to the third floor. Voilà.