BEFORE I CHOOSE — D4N_paS1 | Official Short

Before I choose... Before I choose... I keep a reason for every turn, a steady face, a lesson learned. I tell myself I chose the road, I name the weight and call it known. But every night the same old feeling gets there before the words come through. I hear my mouth explain the ending when I'm already halfway through. If I'm only what I know, why does the answer come before? If every choice begins with me, what is this pull I never see? BEFORE I CHOOSE SOMETHING MOVES BEFORE I SPEAK I FEEL IT MOVE I can shut it out. I can call it untrue. It still moves... BEFORE I CHOOSE. New keys hanging by the doorway, different shadows on the floor. Still my hand reached for the old switch that wasn't there anymore. I thought the parts I never wanted would disappear if left unnamed. But when the room went dark around me, my hand still moved the same. If I can change everything outside, why does the same thing make it through? Maybe freedom isn't silence. Maybe it begins before I choose. BEFORE I CHOOSE SOMETHING MOVES BEFORE I SPEAK I FEEL IT MOVE I can shut it out. I can call it untrue. It still moves... BEFORE I CHOOSE. Before... before I choose... I spent years turning down the volume on whatever didn't fit. Now the silence sounds familiar. Now I hear what lives in it. I don't have to hand it power. I don't have to cut it loose. I can stand here long enough to watch it move before I choose. Before I... Before I... Before I choose— NOW BEFORE I CHOOSE I WAIT— A BEAT. BEFORE I SPEAK I HEAR WHAT'S UNDERNEATH I don't have to follow. I don't have to refuse. I can see what moves... BEFORE I CHOOSE. Before I choose... I wait a beat. Before I choose... I hear myself breathe. Before I choose... Before I choose...