The House Was in My Name and I Still Lost It | Life After Divorce

She qualified for the house on her own. Her name, her income, her mortgage. A judge still told her to sell it and split the money fifty fifty. Tonya Poindexter is the author of The Aftermath: What Nobody Tells Black Women About Life After Divorce. On this episode of Livd Divorce Stories she tells this story out loud for the first time, starting at the closing table where the title company asked her twice if she was sure about adding his name to the deed. Her gut said no. She said yes anyway, to keep the peace. She calls it the biggest mistake of her life. Host Liv Lewis gets real right back, on the spousal support she pays, the friend who said girl, pay him, you will always make more, and the ex who is still on her mortgage seven years later. Two different marriages. Two different states. Same landing place. Then the conversation turns to the part nobody prepares you for. Tonya did not cry when it ended and she did not celebrate. She felt nothing at all. She names what the aftermath actually is: you are not who you were before the marriage, you are not who you were inside it, and you are building a whole new woman from scratch with no timeline attached. Expect laughter and some tears. Both are welcome here. CHAPTERS 0:00 Welcome, and who Tonya is at her core 1:00 The day the divorce was final 2:50 Two marriages, and what she excused 5:55 The infidelity, and the real deal breaker 6:40 Quietly building the exit plan 7:33 How the house ended up in her name alone 8:38 The closing table, and the question asked twice 10:02 Liv on walking down the aisle crying 11:54 He wants to be bought out 12:54 The judge orders the sale 13:34 Know the law in your state 16:23 Stop comparing your divorce to anyone else's 20:07 The aftermath begins, and why she felt numb 23:00 Who are you now 26:00 The kids always know 28:45 Shared friends, and finding out everybody knew 35:17 The Aftermath, and where to get it 36:07 Her Livd Truth ABOUT TONYA POINDEXTER Author of The Aftermath: What Nobody Tells Black Women About Life After Divorce, available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and Walmart. Signed copies at writetouchpublishing.com. Tonya spent two decades in federal service before founding her own communications firm, chairs the Northern Virginia Black Chamber of Commerce, and is a mother of three and a grandmother of five. Instagram: @writer_queent Write Touch Publishing: @writetouchpublishing ABOUT LIVD Livd is a community for Black and Brown women navigating breakup, separation and divorce. Divorce doesn't mean you're broken. It means you're just becoming. Website: livd.co Instagram: @livdstories Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe for new episodes and hit the bell so you do not miss one. A NOTE This conversation is a story, not legal or financial advice. Property and support laws vary significantly by state. If you are separating or contemplating it, talk to a family law attorney licensed where you live before you sign anything. #LifeAfterDivorce #BlackWomenAndDivorce #DivorceStories #LivdDivorceStories