Where Do Black Men Go to Cry?

Where do Black men go to cry—and why do so many feel they have to do it alone? This episode of Don Talk explores Black men’s mental health, emotional vulnerability, therapy, and the pressure to always appear strong. Mike Turner and R. Manasseh Thornton sit down with Saif, known as @Betamax84 on Instagram, for an honest conversation about what men carry behind closed doors. After a broken engagement, Saif found himself processing his pain in his car and working through it in therapy. His question—“Where are y’all crying at?”—opened a conversation that goes far beyond tears. From male friendships and relationships to fatherhood, cultural expectations, and social media, we discuss why opening up can feel risky—even when people care about you. Mike also shares the moment a friend called when he needed it most, and what it meant to be allowed to cry without judgment. In this episode: • Why some men cry only in their cars or showers • Masculinity and the fear of being seen as weak • Finding a therapist who understands your experiences • How childhood lessons shape emotional expression • Raising children who feel safe sharing their feelings • The difference between expecting judgment and receiving support • Letting go of people pleasing and living authentically Have you ever held something in because you were afraid of how someone would respond? Share what you’re comfortable sharing in the comments. Subscribe to Don Talk for honest conversations about men’s mental health, relationships, fatherhood, and personal growth. Share this episode with a brother who could use the conversation. CHAPTERS 00:00 “I have no male friends I would feel comfortable crying with” 00:24 Subscribe to Don Talk 01:21 Where do men go to cry? 03:12 Crying in the car: Saif’s story 05:06 When you don’t know why you’re crying 06:05 Trauma and finding support 08:05 Raising Black children in America 10:15 Why vulnerability feels so private 13:08 Supportive friends and the fear of opening up 14:28 Culture, identity, and the pressure to be tough 16:45 Gangs, belonging, and survival 20:21 Black representation and media 21:56 Does everyone have the same choices? 24:21 Breaking patterns of hiding emotions 26:09 Therapy for Black men: finding the right fit 29:12 Letting your guard down and parenting differently 31:00 Mike’s story: a friend who let him cry 33:23 It’s okay to be emotional 34:23 Social media and pretending to be okay 35:22 Expecting judgment, finding support 37:30 Mental health stigma and performing for acceptance 38:37 Being authentic and protecting your energy 40:41 Who are you beyond social media? 42:45 Self-discovery and leaving people pleasing behind 43:59 Why these conversations matter Guest: Saif | Instagram: @Betamax84 With Mike Turner and R. Manasseh Thornton #BlackMensMentalHealth #MensMentalHealth #DonTalk