Frankie Foster vs Vicky - Epic Rap Battles of History

Frankie Foster (Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends) vs Vicky (Fairly Odd Parents) Vicky: Well, look who clocked in! Ponytail, choker, and a mop! I've been dodging chores since birth, sweetie, you were built to scrub and slop. You take orders from a rabbit with a monocle and bell, I've got a whole neighborhood of parents underneath my spell! They pay me by the hour just to walk in through the door, Your grandma pays in "thank you, dear" and hands you thirty more! Twenty-two and living home? That's not a job, that's a lease, I'm fifteen with a client list, I'm a small-town tyrant, please! Your house is full of things that kids made up and threw away, But I've got a real live twerp I get to ruin every day! So bring your blue balloon, your tall red guy, your bird that squawks, 'Cause when Vicky punches in, honey, everybody's off the clock! Frankie: Fifteen with a client list? Girl, you've got one house on one street, And you only keep that job because the parents never peep! You flip that voice to syrup every time a grown-up's near, That's not a business model, that's a two-faced souvenir! Every friend inside my walls got dropped off and forgot, I gave 'em beds and birthdays and a family they'd lost. You had one kid to look after. One. And what'd you do? Made him so miserable the universe sent backup through! Two magic godparents arrived 'cause he hit rock bottom, That's not a resume, Vicky, that's a restraining order problem! Your own little sister flinches when you're walking down the hall, I've got a house that cheers my name. You've got a dog. That's all. Vicky: Aww, "a house that cheers your name!" Do they cheer you when you're late? When the rabbit writes you up for every dirty plate? You don't run that mansion, sweetheart, you're the help with better hair, The founder's own granddaughter, and you're still not going anywhere! Your whole life, and you had one date. How did that night turn out? Still a slave making beds for monsters that a third grader thought about! I don't need a wand, a rulebook, or a fairy on my side, I built my whole empire on one miserable little guy! And check the future tape, sweetheart, I'm running the whole globe, You'll be sweeping the same hallway 'til they shut the mansion's door! They eat your food, they wreck your day, and still they won't let go, Congratulations, Frankie. You're the prisoner of your own show! Frankie: You wanna talk about the future, Icky Vicky? That door's shut, You'll be screaming forever with a bug stuck up your butt! You need a paycheck to be near a kid. Sit with that a sec. I do this every single day and never cash a check! You broke a boy so thoroughly that magic intervened, I take the ones that magic made and give 'em somewhere clean! Yeah, I'm tired. Yeah, I'm busy. Yeah, that list is never done, But every name on that list is somebody's only one! You'll age out of that gig. The twerp grows up, the money stops, And nobody's gonna call you when the babysitting drops. Me? I'm here when the last friend walks back out that door, 'Cause I'm the one who stayed, Vicky. That's what "Foster" is for! Created using Suno