The People-Pleasing Pattern That ALWAYS Creates Resentment

Book a session with me here 👉 https://calendly.com/heidi-gustafson/... The fear of disappointing others gripped me, causing me guilt and resulting in me saying yes to things that left me feeling frustrated and resentful. In this video, I share a recent moment where I asked myself a question that changed how I looked at other people's disappointment. This one question allowed me to start saying no and setting boundaries without guilt. 📚 Books that have impacted me immensely (in categories) - 📚Stop People Pleasing & Start Prioritizing YOU: 1) "Letting Go of Good" by Andrea Mathews - https://amzn.to/48SeADb 2) “The Selfish Year” by Valerie Jones - https://amzn.to/4kb1Hs8 3) "Girl, Stop Apologizing" (2 book set) by Rachel Hollis - https://amzn.to/4uYx8KD 4) "Boundaries - When to Say Yes, How to Say No" by Cloud & Townsend - https://amzn.to/3Rwh5VB 5) "The Boundaries Workbook" by Cloud & Townsend - https://amzn.to/4nnSuyj 6) "Beyond Boundaries - Learning To Trust Again In Relationships" by John Townsend - https://amzn.to/4njZOeh 7) "Women Who Love Too Much" by Robin Norwood - https://amzn.to/4u22z6F 8) "Co-dependents Anonymous" by CoDA - https://amzn.to/42qzHZv 9) "Codependents' Guide To The 12 Steps" by Melody Beattie - https://amzn.to/4tmum0t 10) "The Type E Woman: Overcoming The Stress of Being Everything to Everybody" by Harriet Braiker - https://amzn.to/4d2LG5L 11) "The Disease To Please" by Harriet Braiker - https://amzn.to/4u4lLk8 📚Self Acceptance, Self Respect, & Self Love 1) "What to Say When You Talk To Yourself" by Shad Helmstetter - https://amzn.to/3MeGHUt 2) "Learning to Love Yourself" by Gay Hendricks - https://amzn.to/4exMoZP 3) "You Are A Badass" by Jen Sincero - https://amzn.to/4eIKfe1 4) "I Thought It Was Just Me" by Brene Brown - https://amzn.to/4deswIJ 5) "The Kindness Method" by Shahroo Izadi - https://amzn.to/4wkdZE3 6) "Don't Believe Everything You Think" by Joseph Nguyen 📚Personal Growth & Self Awareness: 1) "Loving What Is - 4 Questions That Can Change Your Life" by Byron Katie - https://amzn.to/3OUc5JP 2) "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay - https://amzn.to/4eCgs6H 3) "9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life" by Dr. Henry Cloud - https://amzn.to/42mhb4D 4) "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz - https://amzn.to/4dAeYss 5) “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor E. Frankl - https://amzn.to/4deGv1s 6) "The Big Leap - Conquer Your Hidden Fear" by Gay Hendricks - https://amzn.to/4exQRM6 7) "Atomic Habits" by James Clear - https://amzn.to/48UY998 8) "The Seven Primal Questions" by Mike Foster - https://amzn.to/49yeHnp 9) "365 Days of Positive Self-Talk" by Shad Helmstetter - https://amzn.to/48SU8BZ 10) "The Alter Ego Effect" by Todd Herman - https://amzn.to/4tVhvmS 11) "The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self Sabotage" by Brianna Wiest - https://amzn.to/4deOmvE 📚Trauma, Stress, & The Body 1) "The Body Keeps The Score" by Bessel van der Kolk - https://amzn.to/49bKLh5 2) "Mind Over Medicine" by Lissa Ranking - https://amzn.to/4wgzki1 3) "The Anti-Anxiety Toolkit" by Melissa Tiers - https://amzn.to/4wgBka1 4) "When The Body Says No" by Gabor Mate - https://amzn.to/3R090Zh 5) "The Mindful Body" by Ellen Langer - https://amzn.to/4dkxRhP 📚Recovering From Toxic Relationships: 1) "Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare" by Shahida Arabi - https://amzn.to/491CD2V 2) "Psychopath Free - Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships" by Jackson MacKenzie - https://amzn.to/4tXgPxn 3) "If He's So Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad? Recognizing & Overcoming Subtle Abuse" by Avery Neal - https://amzn.to/4dxmAfk 📚Fiction for anyone who loves dogs & a heartfelt story (tissues necessary): "The Art of Racing in the Rain" by Garth Stein - https://amzn.to/4d1cjI7 🙏By using the affiliate links above, I may earn a small commission if you decide to make a purchase — at no extra cost to you. Your support helps me continue creating helpful content. Video Chapters: 00:00 Pushback when saying 'no' 00:59 The resentment starts building 03:20 My pattern of loyalty & obligation 05:18 Saying yes without considering me 06:30 Wanting short-term relief of the discomfort 07:46 The ONE questioin that broke the pattern 08:24 Belief of being responsible for other's feelings 09:27 What happened when I say 'no' 09:52 The gut punch of awareness 10:31 The "old me" would've felt guilty 11:33 Observing the trigger 12:50 Letting go of the meaning 13:38 Deciding to choose me 14:28 Avoiding requests isn't the solution 15:55 Breaking the circle of obligation 16:20 Inner Circle Membership 🎧 More free resources on my podcast - Rated Top 5% Globally https://masteringmidlifewithheidi.buz... 🔔 Subscribe to my channel for more insights on mindset, self-care, and personal growth. Hit the notification bell so you never miss an update!