Addicted to the Ache

I grew up where the hurt had a permanent address, Every breath was a test, every day was a mess. Got a cut, got a bruise, got a crack in my chest, Kept the weight, kept the hate, kept the ache with the rest. Pain came knocking, I was already home, Cold hands, closed doors, learned to sleep alone. Every scar had a story, every worry had a tone, Every wound got deeper till the wound felt known. I stopped asking why, stopped begging for change, Started walking through the fire like the fire was my place. What once made me shake couldn't make me afraid, I got used to the hurt till I started to crave— More, more, give me more, I don't fear what I felt before. TASTE THE PAIN! LET IT RAIN! HIT ME HARD, THEN HIT AGAIN! TASTE THE PAIN! BREAK THE CHAIN! I MADE A HOME INSIDE THE FLAME! I can taste every trace of the days that betrayed me, Every blade, every shade, every hand that degraded me. Every doubt, every shout, every voice that berated me, Built a colder, bolder version that the suffering created me. Now the ache feels familiar, almost warm in my veins, Like a dark little rhythm running wild through my brain. I don't chase happiness, I don't bargain with fate, I can sit with the suffering and appreciate the weight. What was once my enemy became my identity, Turned misery to memory, then memory to energy. Now I grin when it hits, let it crawl through my skin, 'Cause the pain that once broke me is the pain I let in. TASTE THE PAIN! LET IT RAIN! HIT ME HARD, THEN HIT AGAIN! TASTE THE PAIN! BREAK THE CHAIN! I MADE A HOME INSIDE THE FLAME! Pressure, pleasure, measure the damage, Years of fear turned steel into granite. Crack in the back, black in the panic, Pain came knocking—I answered, “Damn it!” Cut me, crush me, push me lower, Every little scar made the heartbeat stronger. I don't need saving, I don't need grace, I learned to look my suffering straight in the face. TASTE THE PAIN! LET IT RAIN! HIT ME HARD, THEN HIT AGAIN! TASTE THE PAIN! NO MORE SHAME! I LEARNED TO LOVE WHAT ONCE CAUSED THE PAIN!