Psychology of Not Giving A F*ck

Why do you feel watched when almost nobody is looking? And why can't you just decide to stop caring what people think? Psychology has studied this for decades, and the answer isn't "have more confidence." In this video, we look at the experiments behind the spotlight effect, the illusion of transparency, and the fear of social rejection, and at what people who seem not to care are actually doing differently. You'll learn how to stop caring what people think by understanding the mechanism that makes you care in the first place. In this video: The Barry Manilow T-shirt experiment and the spotlight effect Why your nerves are far less visible than they feel (the illusion of transparency) Cyberball: why being left out by a computer program still hurts The sociometer theory of self-esteem Why "just stop caring" backfires (Wegner's white bear study) Self-distancing: how talking to yourself in the third person can lower anxiety Shame-attacking exercises and safety behaviors Pluralistic ignorance: why everyone is performing comfort for everyone else Why we regret inaction more than action over the long run Research mentioned: Gilovich, Medvec & Savitsky, spotlight effect and illusion of transparency Kipling Williams, Cyberball and ostracism research Mark Leary, sociometer theory Daniel Wegner, ironic process theory (white bear) Ethan Kross, self-distancing Prentice & Miller, pluralistic ignorance Clark & Wells, cognitive model of social anxiety Gilovich & Medvec, the temporal pattern of regret This video is for educational purposes and isn't a substitute for professional advice. If social anxiety is significantly affecting your daily life, a licensed mental health professional can help.