Staying Human Under Pressure | How Do We Stay Connected?

Have you ever heard yourself say something and immediately thought... That didn't come out quite how I meant it to. Perhaps it was the tone. The impatience. Or maybe you went quiet, withdrew or reacted to something that wouldn't normally bother you. We've probably all been there. Because how we intend to show up and what other people experience aren't always the same thing. In this episode of Staying Human Under Pressure (SHUP), Laura Toop is joined by Mark Carolan and Daniel Glyde to explore: How do we show up under pressure? Because we don't arrive in situations carrying only what's happening in that moment. We bring everything else with us. Our experiences. Expectations. Worries. The things we haven't quite worked through. And sometimes something small becomes the tipping point for everything we've been carrying. Together, Laura, Mark and Dan explore emotional awareness, coping mechanisms, leadership, expectations and the difference between reacting and responding. From a job interview that went wrong to motorway frustrations and withdrawing under stress, the conversation explores what pressure reveals about us. Because sometimes the ways we've learned to cope become so familiar that we don't recognise what they're costing us. We get through the day. We manage. We survive. But is that the same as living well? Perhaps understanding how we show up isn't simply about managing our reactions. It's about recognising what's happening underneath them, how our behaviour affects others and what becomes possible when we're more aware. Not always getting it right. But noticing. Understanding. And choosing what happens next. Because how we show up doesn't just affect us. It changes the experience of those around us. 🧡 “We also then tend to judge ourselves by what we believe we meant. But other people experience what we actually did or actually said, as opposed to what we meant.” #StayingHumanUnderPressure #SelfAwareness #Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #Choice #HumanConnection #Presence Connect on LinkedIn Laura Toop: / laurabridgingthegap Mark Carolan: / mark-carolan-67092a138 Daniel Glyde: / danglydecoach ================================================== ⏳ Timecoded Summary ⏱️ 00:00 - When things don't come out as intended We've all experienced moments when our words, tone or behaviour don't reflect how we wanted to show up. ⏱️ 01:25 - When pressure takes over Dan recalls a BBC job interview where the pressure he placed on himself meant his mouth ran ahead of his thinking. ⏱️ 03:45 - What are we bringing into the room? Our expectations, experiences and worries influence how we behave, often without us recognising it. ⏱️ 05:02 - What does good leadership look like under pressure? Mark reflects on why remaining calm, responding rather than overreacting and leading by example matter. ⏱️ 07:00 - We cannot not communicate Even when we say nothing, our tone, body language and emotional state communicate more than we realise. ⏱️ 08:44 - Emotional intelligence and our impact Dan explores why recognising our emotional state and understanding others' experiences matters. ⏱️ 10:23 - Roger Federer and responding differently How working with our emotions rather than being driven by them can change what happens next. ⏱️ 13:33 - Why do we carry anger with us? Mark uses motorway driving to explore how a moment of frustration can affect the rest of our day. ⏱️ 16:26 - Is the reaction really about what happened? Sometimes a small incident becomes the tipping point for everything else we've been carrying. ⏱️ 18:56 - Creating space between reacting and responding Dan reflects on chronic stress and learning to make more conscious choices. ⏱️ 21:14 - How our behaviour changes the room The way we show up influences how other people feel, respond and adjust their behaviour. ⏱️ 22:40 - When other people notice before we do Mark shares how colleagues and family recognised his tendency to withdraw under pressure. ⏱️ 24:50 - The gap between intention and impact We judge ourselves by what we meant, but others experience what we actually said or did. ⏱️ 27:40 - Is self-awareness enough? What else helps us prepare for situations and respond differently? ⏱️ 29:32 - When coping becomes a habit Why familiar ways of managing pressure can keep us functioning without helping us thrive. ⏱️ 31:58 - What helps us show up differently? Self-regulation, presence and recognising what we're carrying. ⏱️ 34:16 - Choosing how we respond Being present, feeling in control and recognising the choices available to us. ⏱️ 34:40 - Closing reflections How we show up is influenced by what we're experiencing.