YOU'RE-A-FOOL-WOW! CALL-YOU! SIGH!

YOU'RE-A-FOOL-WOW! CALL-YOU! SIGH! Waku-waku! Kyoso! Koryu! No results! Vision. Mission. Passion. Collaboration. Connection. Workshops. More meetings. More slides. More smiles. And the results are...? “No future?” Put a logo on it. An original hard rock song with a black-comedy edge, satirizing performative busyness, buzzwords, endless meetings, feel-good workshops, and collaboration that slowly becomes an end in itself. This is a fictional satire about generic organizational culture. It does not depict or refer to any specific person, company, institution, or organization. YOU'RE-A-FOOL-WOW! CALL-YOU! SIGH! #OriginalSong #HardRock #Satire #BlackComedy #corporatesatire --- [Verse 1] Welcome in, boys, straighten your tie Nobody asks, nobody asks why The engine coughs, the numbers bleed But hey, we printed what we need A plastic prophet takes the stage Reads us hope from a laminated page The coffee’s weak, the budget’s gone But everybody’s singing along Built a task force for the task Built another one to ask Why every answer disappears Somewhere between slides and beers [Pre-Chorus] Smile for the camera Don’t think twice The ship is sinking But the drinks are nice One, two, three— Waku-waku! Kyoso! Koryu! No results! [Chorus] Welcome to the Fluffy Fright Fest Everybody’s doing their best Raise your glass and shut your eyes Call the smoke a new sunrise Waku-waku! Kyoso! Koryu! No results! [Stop] YOU'RE-A-FOOL-WOW! CALL-YOU! SIGH! [Full Band] Smile real big And fake the rest [Verse 2] Future man with future hair Big bright smile and nothing there Draws a circle, draws a star Says, “Look how fucking far we are” A smiling coach rolls in at ten Teaches grown men how to grin The pump is broken, let it wait We got a workshop running late Meeting rooms are booked all week Teaching people how to speak About the work they might have done If all these meetings hadn’t begun Toilet’s dead on level three So naturally — committee Seventeen slides, July next year To explain why shit won’t disappear [Pre-Chorus] Somebody killed the KPI Nobody saw a thing Dress the corpse in mission words And make the bastard sing Waku-waku! Kyoso! Koryu! No results! [Chorus] Welcome to the Fluffy Fright Fest Everybody’s looking impressed Raise your glass and shut your eyes The sewer smells like enterprise Waku-waku! Kyoso! Koryu! No results! [Stop] YOU'RE-A-FOOL-WOW! CALL-YOU! SIGH! [Full Band] Smile real big And fake the rest [Bridge] VISION! Print it big and make it loud MISSION! Say it proud before the crowd PASSION! Put another sign up there ACTION! Book a meeting, pull a chair Synergy in the morning Engagement after lunch Transformation by three o’clock Then cocktails with the bunch The floor is cracking— Waku-waku! The lights are dead— Kyoso! The numbers tank— Koryu! And what did we get? NO RESULTS! And when the whole damn circus burns We’ll write down everything we learned [Breakdown] No money? MORE VISION! No people? MORE MISSION! No product? MORE PASSION! No clue? COLLABORATION! No future? [Pause] Put a logo on it. [Final Chorus] Welcome to the Fluffy Fright Fest Everybody’s doing their best The dead have filled the feedback form The living wait to be transformed Waku-waku! Kyoso! Koryu! No results! We’ll fix it in the next fiscal year No result! No regret! Nobody knows the budget yet! Raise your glass! Ignore the smell! Tell the board we’re doing well! Waku-waku! Kyoso! Koryu! No results! [Stop] YOU'RE-A-FOOL-WOW! CALL-YOU! SIGH! [Gang Shout] YOU'RE-A-FOOL-WOW! CALL-YOU! SIGH! [Full Band] YOU'RE-A-FOOL-WOW! CALL-YOU! SIGH! YOU'RE-A-FOOL-WOW! CALL-YOU! SIGH! [Spoken Outro] Thank you for your valuable feedback. See you again next year.