Why Perfectionists Find It So Hard to Rest | Calm Psychology for High Achievers

Why does rest feel like falling behind for people with high standards? Tonight in the cabin, we gently explore the psychology of perfectionism: the two very different sides of high standards, what happens when our worth depends on achievement, why the mind keeps working long after the day is done – and how we might learn to rest without having to earn it. 00:00 Welcome to the cabin 01:15 Two kinds of high standards 05:52 When worth is earned 08:58 The mind that keeps working 13:18 Learning to rest without earning it 16:54 A last thought for tonight This video is for education and reflection – not a substitute for therapy or personal advice. If high standards leave you constantly exhausted, unable to sleep, or feeling low or anxious most of the time, please talk to a doctor or therapist. If your thoughts feel hopeless or frightening, reach out to someone you trust or to local crisis support. Sources • Hill, A. P., & Curran, T. (2016). Multidimensional perfectionism and burnout: a meta-analysis. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 20(3), 269–288. https://doi.org/10.1177/1088868315596286 • Curran, T., & Hill, A. P. (2019). Perfectionism is increasing over time: a meta-analysis of birth cohort differences from 1989 to 2016. Psychological Bulletin, 145(4), 410–429. https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000138 • Shafran, R., Cooper, Z., & Fairburn, C. G. (2002). Clinical perfectionism: a cognitive–behavioural analysis. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 40(7), 773–791. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0005-7967(01)00059-6 • Sonnentag, S., & Fritz, C. (2007). The Recovery Experience Questionnaire: development and validation of a measure for assessing recuperation and unwinding from work. Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, 12(3), 204–221. https://doi.org/10.1037/1076-8998.12.3.204 • Flaxman, P. E., Stride, C. B., Söderberg, M., Lloyd, J., Guenole, N., & Bond, F. W. (2018). Relationships between two dimensions of employee perfectionism, postwork cognitive processing, and work day functioning. European Journal of Work and Organizational Psychology, 27(1), 56–69. https://doi.org/10.1080/1359432X.2017.1391792 • Reis, D., & Prestele, E. (2020). The role of trait and state perfectionism in psychological detachment from daily job demands. Stress and Health, 36(2), 228–245. https://doi.org/10.1002/smi.2901 • Gluschkoff, K., Elovainio, M., Hintsanen, M., Mullola, S., Pulkki-Råback, L., Keltikangas-Järvinen, L., & Hintsa, T. (2017). Perfectionism and depressive symptoms: the effects of psychological detachment from work. Personality and Individual Differences, 116, 186–190. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.04.044 • Ferrari, M., Yap, K., Scott, N., Einstein, D. A., & Ciarrochi, J. (2018). Self-compassion moderates the perfectionism and depression link in both adolescence and adulthood. PLoS ONE, 13(2), e0192022. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0192022 • Galloway, R., Watson, H., Greene, D., Shafran, R., & Egan, S. J. (2022). The efficacy of randomised controlled trials of cognitive behaviour therapy for perfectionism: a systematic review and meta-analysis. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, 51(2), 170–184. https://doi.org/10.1080/16506073.2021.1952302 Researched and produced with the help of AI tools for research, voice and visuals. Every episode is reviewed and edited by a psychologist. If you'd like to spend another quiet evening here, the cabin will be waiting. #perfectionism #psychology #selfcompassion