Dr. Robyne Hanley-Dafoe: You Can Do Hard Things — The Science of Resilience

At 16, Dr. Robyne Hanley-Dafoe’s car crashed through the ice into freezing water, leaving her trapped inside a sinking vehicle. In the middle of the unimaginable, she remembered something her mother had always told her: You can do hard things. Today, Robyne is a resilience expert who studies how we navigate adversity and find our way forward. In this conversation with Silken Laumann, she shares what science and her own extraordinary life have taught her about resilience, anxiety, hope and the habits that help us through difficult moments. Together, they explore why resilience isn’t about being fearless, how focusing on the “next right step” can move us through overwhelm, and why belonging, acceptance, self-care and hope are essential to our ability to recover and grow. A powerful conversation about what we’re capable of when life doesn’t go according to plan. Try Good Life Fitness Today https://try.goodlifefitness.com/7-day... Thank you for joining us on Inflection Time. We hope you enjoyed the episode. We’d love for you to follow, subscribe to, and share our podcast on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube. Find show highlights on my Instagram @silkenlaumann Inflection Time is developed and produced by Silken Laumann in partnership with Archer & Co and sponsored by Good Life Fitness and Ventum Financial. A special thank you to: Our incredible in-kind sponsors: Carter Wiley and Tall Boy Water. Executive Producers and Directors: Michelle Archer and Phil Kluba Producer: Christine Bays Creative Development by Sarah Carter. 00:00 Welcome to Inflection Time 00:40 Introducing Dr. Robyne Hanley-Dafoe 01:28 Peterborough, Trent University and the Head of the Trent 02:23 What resiliency actually means 03:43 Struggling in school and dropping out at 16 06:00 A new licence and a snowstorm 06:35 Crashing through the ice into a river 07:08 "Robyne can do hard things," her mother's voice 08:23 Escaping the sinking car one step at a time 09:16 Silken's near-death wasp sting 10:51 Joseph Todd, the stranger who pulled her off the ice 13:10 Courage and self-doubt can coexist 14:51 The biggest misconception about resilience 16:04 Belonging, protecting and providing 17:43 From struggling student to PhD 18:24 ADHD and learning differences in girls 20:43 The strengths of neurodivergent minds 21:51 "I'm not trying to raise a compliant child" 22:52 Everyone has mental health 23:13 Self-care isn't selfish, it's science 25:16 Robyne's simple morning routine 26:53 Silken's daily gratitude practice 27:21 Building a foundation of resilience 29:24 Acceptance and letting go of "why me?" 30:20 Why asking for help is a strength 32:00 Life is poker, not chess 32:34 Self-forgiveness for parents 33:12 Focusing on what's in your control 34:06 Getting unstuck through hope 36:29 Finding hope in a chaotic world 39:51 Finishing the stress cycle 41:51 Compassion fatigue 42:27 Making a mosaic from the broken pieces 44:32 Not everything happens for a reason 45:49 Acknowledging trauma without building a monument to it 46:58 Living "above the line" 47:51 Gabor Maté and walking the talk 48:28 Raising siblings who have each other's backs 50:54 Losing her mother 51:46 Learning to parent yourself 52:28 What gives you hope? 54:01 Silken's moment of hope at a seniors' residence 55:55 Closing thoughts